Here we go again

Well I gained all but 26 pounds back of the 80 I lost. I am rather disgusted with myself.. however I am going to take control of my eating. I did it once and I can do it again. I eat out of boredom or just because I love food. I will start eating healthier foods and trying to get myself off sugar again. I am a member at a gym with a pool and I will set a goal to get there a couple time a week. But like last time I will make changes one at a time so I don't quit. I feel like I have lost myself.. my happiness.. my joy and love for life. I use to be so full of life and now I feel I lost it all.. and need to fake it when around others to hide what I lost. I know this journey will not be easy but it will be worth it.