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Dear Sherry.....

Saturday, October 17, 2015

This past meeting spoke volumes to me. I am not saying that the concept of PROTEIN opened my eyes persey, but it did all the same. I got it...but not in the sense you would imagine.

I am not one for spending time watching the BOOB my grandmother use to call the tv. I am one for being online. I have been fortunate to have met wonderful friends in various groups. My groups tend to share the common theme of weight loss.

I like.....being online.....and your the very end....I realized WHY. Being online gives me the sense of belonging. I belong somewhere.

I have been attending weight watchers for quite sometime. I have learned a lot...but have not really done anything with that knowledge for any length of time. One would wonder why I even go. I have wondered that myself...but I do like the meetings..the people.....the process of weight watchers. Never really liked me on it....just the idea.

I tend to go in well....then not. I guess I should feel shame, but I don't.

When our meeting ended.....I realized.......

I do belong in your meeting. I am a member.

I have done well...since June....nearly 5 years after I joined. 18 pounds are gone....and yet.....I still have that nagging thought always......"Is today the day.....I go back to my old ways?"

I is not. I know this...I feel this......

I guess I made a career out of this......and now.....I understand.

I do belong.....and......time has helped me see this.....and thinking back......on various meeting topics.......

I have......changed.

I no longer eat in the living room or in front of my computer. I eat at the table.
I make sure...I like every single I am not swayed to the dark side if that opportunity arises.
I focus on the food groups.
Every night I spend 5 minutes going over my day.
I try new things.

I use to do FREGGIE of the month....a new one I never tried before. My best friend and I would alternate the choice. Since she has pasted hurts too much. I cannot do it. SO......I decided to do SEASONAL FREGGIE of the month and try different ways to enjoy it.

Sometimes ...being online backfires on me. I try to be with like minded I think or feel....but.....bottom one is really alike for we are all at different stages and phases of life. If one complains too much or whines about this or that....I find myself....not doing well. I am not sure why I do this.

The other day....I was like....I have done well since June 9th...not stellar perfect......but I have found MY way that I could live with...for the rest of my life.

I realized that my friends beat themselves up. I ....never did. I just didn't do it...and by not doing it....I mean my program.

I honestly felt if I wasn't perfect....I was off....and stayed off.

Now....I plan.....and realize that I am not a 100% person. Case in point.....I use to really rack up the activity points. Now....with so many foot issues...I cannot. Recently...I understood.....that the days I could...I should. Who cares if it is not every day? I did. I did care. Now......I am getting in my activity 4 to 5 days per week and you know what? That is GRAND. Perhaps I just need to build back up....or body is telling me....4 or 5 days is where I should be.

We go out to breakfast most Saturdays before work. When I look at the menu....I always wonder.....what would Sherry order? This am.....I thought.....what should I get to help me STAY BALANCED.

So ...what am I trying to say here Sherry?

At the end of the meeting.....I wanted to hug you......and did not. I am not a demonstrative person...but I wanted too.

So...instead...I say....Thank you. Doesn't seem is a heart felt ....Thank you.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SUNSHINE5268
    happy holidays emoticon
    1802 days ago
    I'm proud of you
    1841 days ago
    WELL SIS~~ Not sure why??? But this is the first time I have read this Blog ( usually I get an email alert and did not for this one )

    Anyways...this is a GREAT Blog! I can see where you are coming from about always wondering when/if you are going to go back to *old* ways....

    I think this type of thought will NEVER leave us BUT I also think that it is a good thing because it keeps us on our toes if we see ourselves having eating things we know will put those scales up and once the thought of that goes through the head...we will think twice about letting it continue!!

    Like you said here...I have NOT been stellar since Jan. this year when I started *back* on my journey to healthy eating....I have had gains ( two really BIG ones ) but the thought of putting on the weight I lost if I continued to eat like I was with those gains~~~PUT me back on track again.

    Just keep focused on the future Sis.....and we both will get there! emoticon
    1843 days ago
  • SUNSHINE5268
    sweet angel I am soooooooooooooooooooooooo PROUD of you and what a beautiful blog post...

    amazingly real and know that you are NOT alone in that very real feeling.

    (((((((((((((((( many hugs to you )))))))))))))))

    Rock On! emoticon
    1851 days ago
    Mary, I am proud of you. You have not gone back to old ways, you are moving more, you have stuck to plan. I think you are your own best friend, your own best cheerleader, and believe it or not, you teach me something new every time you blog. Today, I learned to quit doubting I can do this. Like you, I AM doing this one day at a time. Keep pushing. I am right behind you with my own big rock to push and it feels like it is getting ground down and less heavy. What do you think ? LOL !! Hugs to you.
    1871 days ago
    Wow, that's some pretty heavy duty self-examination there! Have a great week!
    1872 days ago
    You do belong! emoticon
    1872 days ago
    Great blog, and I bet Sherry would have loved the hug. emoticon
    1872 days ago
    thanks for another great blog
    1872 days ago
    Instead of waking up in the mornings and thinking "Is today the day.....I go back to my old ways?" Think this way when you wake up, "today is the day that I will NOT over eat."
    1872 days ago
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