Close to Giving Up
Thursday, October 08, 2015
I'm usually reticent about putting myself out there, and moreso when I don't have any positives, but I don't know what else to do. Every time I think I'm low, I find myself somewhere even lower.
My weight has been slowly and steadily climbing and my doctors are now basically just shrugging their shoulders at me and going "I dunno." Which is just so f-ing helpful.
I've tried doing my own research, requesting various tests, but everything is normal, normal, normal.
I've also had "Ideal Protein" pushed on me several times now at my endocrinologist. I've done my reading on it and I don't feel good about it. Plus, I can't afford it.
I don't know what to do. I feel like I've been going steadily downhill since about July. Fatigue is worse, depression is worse, even my skin is worse. I want to see someone for the depression stuff, but I can't find anybody in-network and can't afford out-of-network.
Also, I'm now suddenly just barely into the "pre-diabetic" zone. I might have to cave and try Metformin, despite my concerns over the possible side-effects.
I just don't know what else to do, and I'm finding it hard to care about trying anymore. I can only take so much failure.