Over and Over Again.
Thursday, October 01, 2015
Starting over is never easy. For some reason, well for many reasons, I keep letting my weight get the best of me. There is so much that goes into why I weigh what I weigh. It isn't just about the food. It is about the mindset, the depression, the addiction to the sweets and soda, the desire to look as unworthy as I feel.
I need for things to be different. I know they are not different because I haven't made the move for them to be. Restarting is never an easy thing to do because in my minds eye I see it as a failure in the past.
I don't want to stop smoking because I don't want to gain weight when the reality of it is if I was watching what I was eating, counting calories, and doing what was right for myself the weight wouldn't be so much of an issue. if nothing else I could keep myself from gaining it while transitition from smoking to be smoke free.
The money I would save from not smoking would be huge on a monthly basis. Not eating out for lunch but rather bringing something healthy to work would be huge, too.
I really need to do this. I really want to do this. I am just scared to death to get started again.