Monday, September 28, 2015
Well, turns out salad and soup for lunch... regardless of how healthy... isn't very satisfying. Even with a healthy (greek yogurt) and not so healthy snack (handful of tootsie rolls and 3 pretzels)... didn't do much for me today in terms of satisfaction. So I do what I do when I'm hungry... I got Chipotle. I really wanted Indian... but got Chipotle.
I wish I could remember how I felt last time I was going through this. Oh that's right... I can. I can read all about it. Though I deleted it off SparkPeople, I created a word doc I was planning on turning into a book. Perhaps now is the time to inspire myself with my own accomplishments... rediscover that it is possible, because I've been there and I've done that. This was my first entry as I entered my 2010-2011 get healthy mode; oh so wise:
Monday, May 10th 2010
When You Find Yourself in Times of Trouble
A quiet, reflective morning... coffee and the cats, what more can you ask for? Thinking on parts of my past that haven't surfaced in years... maybe it's a good sign that I am not suppressing it any longer.
Having been down this road many, many times before... this message is one for the person who will become stuck down the road... the one who will begin to self-doubt and sabotage herself... the one who doesn't know how to take a complement or ward off advances from men... the one who will feel like giving up instead of being kind to herself daily... the one who will need to read this over, and over and over again to remember how far she has come...
CELEBRATE all you have accomplished. Everything happens for a reason. You are stuck for a reason. It's not about what you are eating, it's about what is eating you. So, what is eating you? You know, whatever has not been grieved or celebrated can not be left behind. What do you need to grieve that hasn't been dealt with emotionally yet? Your world is like an onion... for so long, you had layers upon layers of protection... but now that you are losing the weight, that protection isn't there anymore and things are becoming new and scary again. Scary doesn't have to be a bad thing. Scary can be a catalyst. Stick with it. Reach out to others. Let go, and let God. Trust that what you are doing, and what you are doing for yourself, is working.