Friday, September 25, 2015
I have been looking into several aspects of my life, lack of motivation, strong cravings, headaches, etc. and hypoglycemia keeps coming up. Great, another something to try to get control of when I feel like I have lost all control of myself. Still gaining. Partner does things like make cookies after I say I need to control my sugar intake. Completely hopeless and depressed about my compete inability to lose weight, or have any control of my own body. I know I know in all reality I have more control than I feel like I do but it doesn't feel like it when I am laying in my bathtub and more than half of my body doesn't go under the water any more. Seeing my self so big and knowing that I haven't been able to get control of it in the two plus years that I have been trying makes me feel useless, and my partner rolls eyes and gives the "im tired of listening to you" grunt when i try to talk about how I feel.
Sigh. Useless. Anxiety and depression and weight gain and more anxiety and depression and weight gain gahhhhh!
I need a hug, and friend. Dealing with being hundreds of miles from family better than past years, imagine that.