MRSRHAWKINS
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Unexpected Grief

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

We were down to one child left at home. We had gone through the grief of the oldest leaving when she turned 18 (8 years ago). We grieved/worried when our middle daughter dropped out of college and married a guy to help him get his greencard. Then there was one...with 5 years left with our youngest. She had been a dream until her junior year when she started dating...and she changed, finally entered the dreaded teen phase. DH and I found ourselves looking forward to empty nest. Two weeks ago, her boyfriend broke up with her and she went a little crazy. After a short hospitalization, we (all 3 of us) decided she should go live with her granny and finish her senior year in another school. Though she is only 30 minutes away and we are on good terms, still communicating and having the opportunity to love on her, this is a lot harder than we expected. The absence of tension in our home is not enough to fill the emptiness we feel. It should be enough that hubs & i can now focus on each other for the first time in our marriage. But grief takes time. We know that from experience and we are trying to embrace every emotion that goes with it, but we are struggling. Everything we do takes so much energy...exercising (must do it even though it doesn't make me feel good), cooking meals, coming to work, being around people (and I'm a huge extrovert), etc. We will continue to approach our days with prayer and gentleness, but it's good to write this out. To admit we are struggling and that's normal.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MRSRHAWKINS
    Thanks for the encouragement...and for reminding me I'm not alone.

    emoticon
    1425 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/24/2015 1:56:32 PM
  • NELLIEC
    I remember when my youngest daughter went ga-ga over a guy who was a drug dealer. She was not friendly to me since I didn't want to facilitate her having sex with him. She did get pregnant and was disappointed that he didn't marry her. Yet she did have another child with him. He did end up going to prison and she still hoped he would marry her when he got out. It didn't happen, so she settled down and did get a good job to take care of her children. I was no longer that horrible woman, and she has been sweet. She finally married a really nice guy who is responsible and treats her well. She is pretty sure that the original guy is about to go to prison again since she saw a picture of him saying he is wanted. (She and his sister were commenting on FB how wasted he looks in the wanted picture.)
    1427 days ago
  • JOYINKY
    Trust me, been there and I know it's hard. Do your best, stay busy, fake it until you make it! Celebrate the positives. You are all healthy, she's in a safe place and knows she is loved; hopefully continuing in counseling and I'd highly recommend that for you and your husband too. I don't know all of your story but I do know the pain; get help. Drugs were involved in my youngest's challenges and Alanon was my salvation. Families Anonymous(google for meetings near you) is a wonderfu support for all families going through difficulties. God bless you. Things will get better. I'm glad you and your husband have each other; that granny was able to offer some relief, there are a lot of pluses here; focus on them. emoticon
    1427 days ago
  • BUTTERFLYBLUE58
    Good luck.
    1428 days ago
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