I Said No
Tuesday, September 08, 2015
You know when people are trying to be helpful... genuinely helpful... and they attempt to push you to make a commitment or prediction that you know in your heart isn't something that you are willing to do or make at this time and if you DO make it you end up never meeting that goal because you either undermine yourself or sabotage yourself?
Yeah. That happened.
I know she was trying to be helpful and engaging by asking me how many times over the next two weeks I would commit to going to the gym... because while I have good intentions, my follow through has lacked...
SIDEBAR: Yes, my follow through has lacked because the last two years of my life comprised of work and grad school leaving me no time to follow through on anything else (that mattered to me at the time for my survival).
However, I knew in my gut that committing to X number of times, or X number of hours would be a downfall. I can plan until the cows come home, if I don't have any momentum nothing will matter.
My goal is, and has been since I joined the gym, to build up momentum. Not commit to things I'm unwilling or unable to do and then beat myself up mentally about it.
Case In Point: I said No. No, I'm not going to commit to something that I can't follow though on FOR YOUR SATISFACTION. I already had intentions of going to the gym after our conversation, I wasn't at a place where I wanted to share that with her. I have intentions of making it to the gym and creating a new routine for myself, but I don't want to share information with others and have them give me their opinion when I am two days in to trying to figure what is going to work for me.
So I said no. No. No. No.
And let me tell you, that felt right... standing up for myself and my instinct.