_COSMOPAULATAN_
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Back at the Gym and Oh How Things Have Changed

Monday, September 07, 2015

Well, I did myself proud. I got up, made myself breakfast, and went to the gym.



I quickly made up my mind that I wasn't really willing to do anything I couldn't sustain moving forward, and right now that means 30 minutes. Do I have more than 30 minutes? Today I do, some days I don't, so I'm looking for consistency at the beginning of all of this.

The other thing I was thinking about is my insane relationship to the scale. Mine needs new batteries in order to work... I was walking out of the gym and I saw a scale. I *almost* went over and weighed myself but then I thought, "why"? If I am feeling better about myself, and I am eating relatively healthy, and I am fitting into my clothes and I'm actively working on loving myself, do I actually need to know how much I weigh? No, no I don't.

It's going to be an interesting journey this time around. Moderation, not restriction. Intention, not calorie counting. Movement, not excessiveness. I can do extreme, I've proven that time and again. I have yet to make loving choices for myself for the duration.



I am going to go grocery shopping today and choose items that will help nourish me throughout the week. As bizarre as it sounds, there are times I eat too little... which make me over hungry, then I overcompensate at the next meal... and then some. I'm going for balance, working on not restricting or eliminating anything. I've learned a lot about myself over the last couple years in therapy for my eating disorder, now that grad school is over (and it's really, really over)... I finally feel free to start Focusing on me again.

I've needed this last week off. It took a week for me to decompress enough to actually relax, which is sad but true. I'm looking forward to using this day as a springboard back into reality tomorrow and to take things one day at a time.

Expect a miracle.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • BRIAEL
    Can you buy a scale that measures body fat percentage instead? Much healthier to aim for a lower BF% than a number. Numbers are arbitrary and contrary and, quite frankly, you can be many different sizes based on a number. Or in one size based on many numbers.

    Miracles are overrated. Just do the best you can with what you have, and keep going. :)
    1015 days ago
  • MT-MOONCHASER
    I find that getting the correct items at the grocery store is pretty easy. The hard part is getting them from the fridge/cupboard to my plate...

    I have great intentions when I buy the stuff and I usually do fairly well with breakfast and lunch, but supper is entirely different. When I get home from work I have a bad habit of just grazing, even if I had something planned. I really need to work on better planning for meals, along with some preparation ahead of time.

    I hope you find the magic combination for yourself. I'm still looking for the one for me.

    Have a great week and remember -- Breathe!!

    emoticon

    p.s. Great picture!!
    1015 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/7/2015 1:06:55 PM
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