Welcome Back - Scales Are For Fish
Sunday, September 06, 2015
Hello friends. It has been a long time, hasn't it? I find myself laughing at the fact that I've tried to abandon Spark on several occasions only to be drawn back into it at some point. I'm not sure why I thought I'd be better off on my own... ego perhaps, or maybe even wishful thinking... but I'm not. Spark has an amazing community of like-minded individuals who are all striving to become healthier. Why not just embrace that?
Well, it's what I am here to do this time. Embrace it. I've literally done it all... the diets, the exercise... and it's worked, because I've done things to the extreme. I have yet to achieve balance in all of this, but I am going to aim at that goal this time.
What brought me back was a myriad of reasons... thinking about it quite a bit, coupled with the fact I see several of my friends who are achieving wonderful weight loss (albeit not by ways I'm willing to try and obtain the same success again) and sent over the edge by a friend telling me that she is going to get gastric bypass at the end of the year. Hearing that was a blend of jealousy surging through my veins imagining the quick ROI with a healthy dash of knowing that isn't going to solve the actual problem. It's a complicated love/hate relationship I have with (what I consider) the easy way out.
I've belonged to a fitness studio for the last year... which I haven't really used at all. It's been an abhorrent waste of my money, and yet I stay a member. Now? Now I went and joined another gym... one that has the cardio and alternative classes that I am looking for. My goal is to get a routine together that I can focus on so my life has some predictability again. Turns out NOTHING to do isn't good for me. At all.
What I do know is that I already have the tools and knowledge to apply myself. I don't need to be hand held. I don't want to be hand held. I want to get in, do it, and get out to live my life... the best life I can build for myself.
What's not worked in the past is incessantly counting calories and weighing myself (most likely a blessing that my scale won't cooperate because it needs new batteries). That brought on a lot of self-hatred. This time, I'm going to focus on eating healthy foods and portions, getting in movement, and only working to weigh myself once a month. If I try, I can gain 10 pounds in a weekend so there isn't any real reason to beat myself up on a weekly basis.