15 Days Since I Stopped Hiding
Thursday, August 27, 2015
I haven't written in a while because I've been extremely busy with my classes lately. Five classes is quite a bit for someone who already works full-time, so there are days you won't know I exist. I promise I will definitely keep in mind to pop in more often, however, for those that worry about me.
So here we go.
It's been 15 days since I stopped hiding my depression. And surprisingly it has not made it worse, but on the contrary, has helped reduce it. Why? Because I talk now, and that is a huge part of managing depression.
Physical activity is also helping, but I can't say the same for my second day of class. Out of my 5 classes, two of them are physical activity. On that second day, I had to have a "fitness assessment" so the coach can know where I stand physically. The task was to jog one mile around a track at school (which takes about 11 laps to accomplish). So I start to jog, and I already know from the cramp in my side after the 3rd lap that I'm about to slow down. I was out of shape!
"OWW!!!" Something in my back gave me a sharp pain, and every time I stepped, or breathed, I got that pain. I was in tears because it hurt so bad. It also made me depressed, because I felt like such a failure. But now I knew for sure... I needed to see a chiropractor once and for all.
My mother has an implant in her back from spinal problems, and her mother (my grandmother) shot herself in the back and killed herself 15 years ago due to intense back pain. I know that is very upsetting to read, but I have to explain how important it was that I go see someone. Sure enough, I was already showing signs of degenerating and my spine was starting to shape the wrong way in some areas. And this is 15 years earlier than anyone else in my family started to discover back problems. That shows you exactly how bad a sedentary lifestyle is for your health!
The chiropractor recommended two alignments for the first two weeks, and then once after that. After 3 so far, I can tell you that I feel BETTER THAN EVER!
Since being able to walk more comfortably, the physical activity classes have been significantly helping me become more active. For a grade, each student has to complete 500 active minutes a week according to his/her fitbit. I don't have a lot of time, so I walk after work, during lunch, and in between classes. Just whenever I have time. And guess what? It ADDS UP! I'm going to hit those 500 perfectly fine, I think.
I'm not only feeling better physically, but mentally too. On Tuesday I had my last TMS appointment. They showed me a survey from my first day to my last, and the results are incredible. There's a huge difference.
I also seen my first psychologist (someone who does NOT prescribe medication) yesterday, and she was such a delight. I feel so much at ease talking with her, and I just know that she's going to help me through my issues.
I know this blog is incredibly scattered and not very entertaining, but this is just an update to explain how I've been managing life. I feel pretty great lately, just very busy. Busy, in my case though, isn't a bad thing. Because when I'm busy, I have less time to think about things like depression. I already know that it won't be like this every day. As I said before, depression is fight that will always come back for now. But I'm pretty satisfied to say that right now I'm kicking depression's butt!