Wednesday, August 19, 2015
Do you ever feel like sometimes on this journey it's all for nothing? Like you are doing all this work and watching what you eat but still nothing happens? That's how I was starting to feel early last week. I was tired and frustrated and just sort of feeling like I wasn't making progress.
And then BOOM! I made all sorts of progress seemingly over night. O.K. I know it wasn't over night but all of a sudden I could actually SEE my progress. It showed on the scale, a couple of my shirts were too big on me and I felt like Rocky when I was exercising.
I went to Zumba last Wednesday and actually felt good. I wasn't out of breath after the first song and I kept up. I found myself doing moves I thought I would never be able to physically do such as really deep squats or fast movements involving my knees. It didn't hurt.
And I ran way more at the gym than I have so far. I don't know if it's Zumba that's improving my fitness or almost two months of consistent exercise but I don't think I've ever felt this way before. I'm glad I haven't turned away and I think deciding this time to vary my cardio instead of all my days at the gym was one of the best decisions I've ever made for a healthy lifestyle.
I'm still struggling emotionally with things though and wonder if I'll ever figure that piece out. I have moments and even days where I just don't feel good enough. I feel less than. Inadequate. I'm disappointed in who I am sometimes. I feel like I should be more successful and probably find a boyfriend at some point. I'm emotionally stuck and I don't know how to unstick.