It's wednesday 10am and I am at work (yeah using a bit of company time to blog...
This week has started well with the 7.6 pounds loss. It has been a great week also because it is my last before my 2 weeks home on vacation with no school and no work! ... mmmm wondering what I will do... Am I able to do nothing after all that I have done this year?
I tend to look at my success in life with very narrow vision. If I am on a weight loss journey like I am right now, I tend to feel successfull only if the weight loss is going well. I have always been like that.
I also tend to be an all or nothing kind of person. when I do, I don't just do. I over do!
This year, I have learned to look at all my successes. I am proud to say that I have managed to work on a software development project at work, go back to school, emotionnaly survive the losses we had and lose 25 pounds. Ok so maybe Ken was right to call me an overachiever. But at least now I can own it. I can accept that fact without feeling guilty or having the impression I am putting people down with my successes. I have lost one Spark friend on the account that my life was going to well for her. That was painfull.
When I think about it, it has always been like that. Me being good or successfull at something has always been something I couldn't really share because it would apparently hurt someone.
I am done with that! My life is not paradise. Over the last 7 years, I have lost one of my sister, my mother and my father. I have had breast cancer wich needed surgery and radiation therapy. We also had to put down our beautifull Sasha when her kidneys stopped. I had to support my husband when he lost his mom even thoght my fater died about a month later.
I am pretty sure that if I wanted to I could find tons of other things that didn't go well in that period.
But see, I chose to focus on the good. I chose to see that I am performing at school despite my age, my work, and my family life. That I can work hard and lose the weight I want to lose. That I have found a husband that is good to me, understands me and supports me in all that I do.
I WILL NOT be responsible for the unhappiness of others! I have never, in my life, tried to make other people miserable! Why should my apparent happiness make anyone unhappy?
So here it is. From now on, I will be proud of what I achieve and I will not let the opinion of others turn my successes into anything negative! Avoid me if you find me annoying!
But I am getting off track here.....
Yesterday I started running again. With my daughter we decided to restart the 5K Your Way Rookie Running Training Program. The same program that had started me running a few years ago. Instead of doing week 1, we decided to start with week 2 (3 min walking, 2 min jogging) 5 times. I was a bit scared. not knowing if I'd be able to jogg 2 minutes straight. I remembered the first time I did this program and thought I would die halfway in my first minute of jogging. But I figured that the worst that could happen is that I would not be able to complete the 2 minutes and that wouldn't be a disaster.
I had programmed the app on my phone to warn us every time we'd have to change from walking to jogging and so on. So we walked 3 minutes then the buzzer went off and we started jogging. When it rang again, I thought I had started the wrong week. I told Sara : "Impossible, we haven't been jogging for 2 minutes. I must have made a mistake." But I was wrong, it was week 2, we had been jogging for a full 2 minutes! I felt great!
Each set we did I was jogging slower and slower. Sign that it had been a while since I jogged any distance.
I was forgetting : Yesterday I tried my college coat from 1980-81 computer science program. For the first time in years I was able to put my arms in it. I was almost able to do some of the front snaps! woohoo can't wait to really fit in it!
Enough for today. That was really longer than what I first intended.
I want to take time to give special thanks to my favorite Sparkfriends who have been reading and supporting me for years now.
King Slayer (my brother from other parents)
JuliaMoonChild (my sister from still other parents!!)
Doveseyes (who has been a faithfull reader and supporter)
...and all the others who have read me over time.
I thank you all for you are a big part of my successes!