Day by Day
Saturday, August 01, 2015
It's Saturday morning, my daughter is asleep, and my boyfriend hasn't made it in from work just yet so I figured this would be as good a time as any to blog.
2015 has been a really crappy year.
I lost one of my best friends on January 1st and the reason for his death is still unknown to me.
I lost another best friend to a depression that has kept her completely isolated for the past 8 months.
To say I've spent the better part of this year feeling alone would be an enormous understatement.
But I'm still here.
I didn't throw in the towel even when depression and overeating got the better of me and I gained a ton of weight.
I'm still here.
July has been a month of self-discovery.
During that month I've tried many weight loss plans. Weight Watchers, Shred, SparkPeople, My Fitness Pal.
And I've had very little success with any of them.
What I've learned this month is that my weight has very little to do with a lack of knowledge regarding calories. (Every overweight person that I know could write a book on how to lose weight, we're all experts at this point) I know how many calories or points I should be eating each day but too often, life gets in the way. I get depressed and think to myself, "f*** it, I'll eat what I want today and start again tomorrow". Or my family and I will go out to dinner and I'll think "just a few nachos won't hurt" and before you know it, I've finished half the plate. For me, weight loss has to be about better planning, learning efficient coping skills, and taking this thing day by day. When I think about the 40 pounds I want to lose I get completely overwhelmed but maybe focusing on TODAY, on what I can do RIGHT NOW, will make this goal less daunting.
I'm at least ready to give it a try.