Clingy fabric breeds insecurity.
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Today I woke up and thought, "Today is definitely a sweatpants day." Then my mom called. My niece is getting married, and my mom asked me to go with her dress shopping. It made me feel like I should wear something a tiny bit nicer than joggers. I tried on this dress and decided it looked pretty good. You can see that it isn't very fitted in the bust or at the waist anymore, but sometimes when I turned I could see my tummy pressing against the fabric.
I am having an insecure day. I know that I definitely fit in this dress better than when I purchased it. It is not as snug, but sometimes I still struggle with having those insecure days where I critique every part of my body. I thought about wearing a jacket to create a different eye flow, but then I noticed my arms. They are looking pretty nice-so I didn't want to cover them up. Plus it is going to be 85 officially with 96% humidity. Ain't nobody got time for a jacket in that kind of mugginess.
I got to work, and caught my reflection, then cringed. I saw it again-my trouble area. I keep workout clothes at work because I often use the elliptical, go walking, or lift weights during my hour away from the computer. I made the conscious decision to change clothes. I feel much better.
It is silly having these cycles of feeling amazing about your body, and then being insecure an instant later. Suddenly noticing the way a fabric can cling to your body in an unflattering way can change your day. I believe that it is silly because we have all made progress with our goals. I've lost weight, and am currently at my lowest weight since I can ever remember. Even in high school I avoided the scale like the plague, but I am wearing smaller jeans than at that point in my life. (high school was 9 years ago for me, 13 since I was a freshman).
It must just be one of those days.