The Dreaded Before picture. Again.

Saturday, July 25, 2015

The part of my mind that wants to be rational is trying to reason since I posted a before picture once, like four years ago, I shouldn't have to do it again,... right?


That journey is not this journey. And while I'd love to say that because I am the same weight it's the same thing, I know it's not. My body has changed. I have changed. I can't just close my eyes and blink it out of existence.

Taking these pictures today were painful. Not only because I realize that I still suffer from body dysmorphia (thinking I am smaller than I am!) but this is a picture of how far I've fallen. I look at my after picture and look at my picture now and I just want to cry.

But I am not going to cry.

I am going to try to get mad and I am going to work it out.

Really, I don't want to post this. I really really dont. You've guys have already seen my worst and you've seen my best. .. Going from best to bad again.. .. It stinks!

But that is life. That is how it is. I am going to fight to get back there. I am going to suck up my pride and DO IT.

I would also ask some of you to be brave with me. Take your before pictures and post them. Take the NOW pictures and post them. Take one and go forward from here. No self hating. Only accepting and moving forward. Have a plan of attack and attack it. See the things you want to change, but love yourself in the process. We aren't doing this change to be worthy of love, we are doing this change BECAUSE we love.

Important to remember. And trust me, I am going to be thinking about that every time I look back on my page.. :/

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I am so proud of you for posting the photos! This is definitely the right thing to do! Now you have the motivation and drive to get the results you want this time, and you will reach your goal! I know you can do it! (If I can do it, anybody can!)

    Good job! Keep up the great work! A month from now, post new photos and you will see results. I'm here to support you 100%!!!
    2117 days ago
    First off of course I still think you look beautiful. 2nd...I am where you are also. Starting over again after having taken off a massive amount of weight. Only I have added all my back and a bit more. I feel so bad that after all your hard work you are having to repeat it again . I watched in amazement as you did it the first time and I will be watching with the same amazement again because I know you will do it!
    3rd- You have been such an inspiration to me. You have a great attitude and that rubs off on many of us . You don't pull punches and tell it like it is. Posting new before pics I KNOW was hard. You did it though and I think that is fantastic.

    I have started back to the gym as I do enjoy going but it also makes me miss you even more. I can remember so many times we were there together. I am on the treadmill and I can actually see you running the track, or feel you running on the treadmill next to me. You inspire me in ways you will never know. emoticon
    2117 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/27/2015 12:01:03 PM
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