watching my goals being achieved

Thursday, July 16, 2015

working out daily, eating healthy, having less than one drink a day, being motivated to be healthy, taking care of myself...these are all goals of mine and they are being accomplished. by my husband.

he is riding his bike to work everyday and he's so serious and motivated about it. he doesn't drink much during the week because he knows it will effect his ride. he's eating well so he has energy to do the 18 miles round trip. why can't I do this? I feel like I'm sitting back and watching him live the lifestyle I want. I drink every night while he drinks his water and goes to bed early. we've swapped roles. I do not like it one bit! I mean, I like that he's being healthy, losing weight and passionate about it. but why can't I?! I feel like the pusher now. I offer him a beer, he says no, so I drink 3. I bring the junk food into the house. I drink too much and stay up too late. this used to be him!
how do I change this? how do I get my role back and join him in his new passion. why can't I?! where's my passion? my motivation? what's holding me back? and why, for crying out loud, did I take on this role?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm sorry you're struggling. Can you just surrender yourself to copying your husband's eating habits? I know I'm oversimplifying, and I'm answering your question with your question, but if you just sort of go with the flow with him, only drink when he's drinking, eating the same meal he is eating, only snack with him...it seems like it takes less energy.

    I'm sorry if I'm being kind of dense about this. It's all I got. I know how it is, really. I am going through something similar. I know what needs doing, I'm not trying to tell myself I'm not losing because of my metabolism or my hormones or my thyroid or or or...I know what I'm doing wrong, but I'm having a hard time getting out of it. But I know that I am just going to "have to somehow." That's it. Maybe we can together.
    2113 days ago
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    Have you said all of this to your husband? Ask him what made the switch go off for him personally. It's possible he might have something to say that would click for you too. If not, right away, then soon when you're ready. We're all on our own schedule for different reasons. Also alcohol does put people in a rut in my opinion. It changes all kinds of things within you internally/physically/mentally that you may not realize. Once you get out of the habit of drinking, you'll probably have a much easier time of it. Maybe just give yourself a week to start off... no drinking. See how you feel. I'll bet for one thing you'll sleep a lot better. Just something to consider.

    So don't beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself. Take small steps at a time and it will start adding up. You can do it!

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    2114 days ago
    It is frustrating when your spouse loses faster than you (especially when you cook), but you can be successful. Take time for yourself.
    2121 days ago
    Despite what the marriage ceremony says, you are two separate people. You can each choose your own way of living without the compliance of the other.
    2121 days ago
    Sometimes when things are a bit dysfunctional, we swap roles in order to maintain that dysfunction. You need to make up your mind to be healthy like your husband. you are worth it! Perhaps you can plan some kind of morning workout so that you have a reason, like your hubby, not to drink at night. I am not drinking every night, but when I do it is way too much and always, always, always puts me over my calorie limit! I need to get help I think. Make you and your husband's lives balance in a more functional way! You can do it!
    2122 days ago
    Not sure why the role reversal ...

    But, I am confident that YOU ARE WORTH the effort! Choose to LOVE YOURSELF!

    2122 days ago
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