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Time to be a big girl...

Wednesday, July 08, 2015

It has been nearly a month since I wrote my last blog post and needless to say, A LOT has changed in my life. I am officially two weeks into my new life as a single mother which is something I never thought I would say.
You always think when you marry someone that it means forever. Well, that's not always the case. Sometimes as you begin to change and grow as a person, the people around you turn out to be different than you always thought. You'd never expect that the biggest one would be your own husband.
I began dating the man I would later marry when I was only 16 years old. At 18 we were married and at 20 welcoming our first child.
I have literally spent my entire adult life with the same person. I endured things most woman would never put up with and turned the blind eye because I didn't know any better. I allowed myself to become a turtle trapped inside it's shell, screaming when no one else could hear.
Several months ago I decided that even though I couldn't control anything else in my life, I could do something about my body. I decided it was time for me to love myself. What I didn't know was that by allowing myself to love me, it would cause me to finally open my eyes to the picture that was my life.
I realized that I deserved more than what I was getting. I realized I was worth something. Unfortunately, that realization was not well received. And after a whirlwind of events here I sit on my own.
Some people might say this sounds terrible, but I honestly feel nothing. Divorce papers didn't make me cry. Sleeping alone at night hasn't killed me. I have realized that nothing has changed in the parenting department, because in reality, I guess I've been a single parent all along, I just refused to accept the signs.
I am learning who I am and who I can become and honestly, I love it. I feel like so much weight and pressure is gone from my life. That doesn't mean it's going to easy because I know it won't but it's a challenge I am ready and willing to accept 100%.
I refuse to allow this to derail what I've worked so hard for even though I've had to make some adjustments to my process. I am only 17lbs from my 100lb goal and the fire in me is burning stronger than ever to meet the woman I want to be.
Here's to me.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You ARE worth so much. I’m glad you learned young!
    730 days ago
  • MSHEL7
    You are a strong woman and you will totally make it through this. I'm so proud of you for seeing that the situation was not the best for you. There is no sense in sitting around in a relationship that is not going anywhere. You Rock!! Your baby will be better off for this too.
    2207 days ago
  • JJQR-M
    Good for you!! You have the whole world ahead of you now and a chance at the life you want and to be the woman you want to be. Go get it, girl!! :) here's to you!
    2208 days ago
    Here's to you! Thanks for sharing.

    2208 days ago
    I have been HAPPILY divorced for many years.
    2208 days ago
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