Present and Still Accounted For
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
I haven't blogged in a few days BUT its ok... I'm still doing good. I'm tracking (outside of missing Sunday) regularly and walking a lot more than I used to. I do need to start introducing in a bit more rigor into my workout time, but that will come with time.
I saw my dietician from the program yesterday - it was my first visit. She is very nice. She has a great energy and seems very knowledgeable. While I tried her suggestions last night and was STARVING when I went to bed, I figured I'd give her suggestions a go at least until our next meeting. I have to do something and she is the professional. If it doesn't work, no harm no foul.
The walking is going well and my dog is even starting to enjoy it (think older dog, arthritis and skin condition). My kids, at separate times, have gone on my walks with me and last night I enjoyed a jaunt with the Man. That was nice. We don't see each other that often since we work opposite shifts - so to do something like take a walk with him helps to bring us to a calm - and to do it together is really nice.
I will say that with all of this program oversight and my life in general, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. I don't usually admit to this feeling - in fact, its a feeling I regularly deny existence of in my life. Student loans are changing (going WAY up and I can't afford it), money is super tight and needs to get tighter than possible, helping others with their problems, work is crazy, home schedule is crazy, trying to think about opening up a web store for my fiber passion, website work, kids learning to drive, friends bombarding my space, medical issues/concerns, trying to get everyone everywhere they need to be every time, AND this weight loss... its kinda crazy in my head.... and I continually have this burden that I must smile through it all. That somehow I have to be as strong as possible and not show stress or say no.
Even writing this is pretty crazy to read - because its not a feeling I admit to having. I don't like the idea of being overwhelmed and I don't like the idea of admitting it... that its some freaky level of defeat (its not in reality, I know this... but I can't convince my emotions of this).
I am trying to take a breath and sit back and analyze it... try to prioritize it appropriately.
And, ya know - things always seem to happen just in time and when necessary. A friend at work just sent me an instant message, asking how I was and a few other things... then asked "how is your mindful meditation." Huh.. how did he know I was struggling? how did he know I was writing these words? His tip: make mindful, obtainable goals - to make a good space for myself - to be aware of the issues/concerns like my weight loss but don't make it my life completely....
Ok... deep breath. Post Blog.
Move on with life and enjoy.
God bless and be well.