Pep talk/small goals for myself.
Sunday, June 28, 2015
BUT FIRST.....a photo update of the Delight Of My Heart:
The little twerp is coming up on seven months old! He's such a little sweet stinker.
The heaped-up stress of the last two years finally broke me last month. Culminated in some thoughts of self-harm or what my friend calls "leave here now dammit". I went to the doctor, got lined up for counselling (which I will probably bypass because it's so darned hard to get an appointment), got a Valium prescription for the times when my mind just won't let me be. (I would welcome any suggestions for things that might've worked for you personally when you've faced an emotional crisis.) Am now working on getting all my crap picked up and put back together, and the Big Girl Panties back on my sorry butt. I've had two months of 'eat ALL the foods....drink ALL the drinks' and very little gym time. I've begun to slouch again, which is not good. I feel old when I slouch, and I am not old.
So: some goals.
1.) Gym four times this week. I went this morning and had a good workout. Didn't stretch, and I will be feeling it tonight. But feeling it is good...it's a sign I've done something for myself.
2.) Rein in the eating and drinking. I'm not going to restrict calories right now, I'm not in that mindset yet. Too easy to derail again and begin to feel like a failure and it's something I surely don't need!
3.) Be enthused. Husband encouraged me to start what I'd been talking up when we moved to this old nursery property. I've got tomatoes, herbs, rhubarb, garlic, potatoes, lettuce, onions and carrots started. Might be too cold yet but hey, I am doing it. I am also wishing there was more to do. I have about 20 minutes' worth of weeding and watering each morning and find myself looking for more. It's a good distraction.
4.) Get the darn fasting blood work done! My doctor sends me off once a year for fasting blood work. Normally it's not a big deal and I'm at the pathologist right away. I've put it off for a month now. I've even had a mammogram in that time which is less fun that bloodwork! I guess I dont' want to know what he might tell me even though I'm not expecting anything bad. Who knows. That's on track for tomorrow morning first thing. Why am I being so silly about it?