Sunday, June 28, 2015
Positive thinking FTW. You know, in the back of my mind I've thought that I can't lose weight this whole time. And so guess what? I haven't lost. I remember my Mom's struggle with losing weight and I think of how hard she seemed to try. But I know now that she was sneaking food, she was doing yoga instead of cardio and she was only trying 'quick fixes'. I love my Mom to pieces, but she wasn't trying her best, she was trying what was easiest. I know the weight can be lost, I've seen people who have done it. A girl I knew in high school, who was always very obese, just recently lost all of her extra weight. All of it. She looks amazing. So I choose to think that I can, because in reality I can, and we'll go from there.
I did a little better yesterday. I got in my 30 minutes of cardio. I ate too much though, and I didn't eat breakfast. But I got up and moved more and I got some stuff done.
Not going to work out this morning, will have to wait till evening. I promised DH I would help wake him up and pour him some coffee, so I don't have time to work out this morning. But I will get my workout in one way or another!
One of my favorite words is liminal. It means a state of being in between, not being what you were or what you're going to be, yet. Liminal. I feel liminal. Being in this state of constant anxiety, knowing that once upon a time I had no anxiety at doing these things but now I do, I can't imagine the feeling of say, driving and not being anxious. Can't imagine it. Yet I know that God does not want me to have a heart of fear, He has a better plan for me and thus I am liminal. I guess a lot people are liminal.