GRANDEFILLE
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June 24th 2015

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

It has been 4 years since I joined the Spark. 4 years full of ups and downs. I have lost and found plenty of pounds that I have lost count of. But whatever happened in my life, I have never completely stayed away. I have been inactive for periods but kept coming here to read news of my Spark friends.

Sparkpeople has been a witness of a lot of things. Training to run for a 5 then a 10k, finding out ang going thru the treatments for a breast cancer. Getting married to the most wonderfull man in the world, making improvements on the house, celebrating my father's 100th birthday, going back to school to be an engineer and so on. It is safe to say that my life has been filled with good and not so good things.

This year is, I guess, a reflexion of this. My mother in-law passed away a few months ago. I achieved great grades in school, I received a certificate of excellence for the program I did last year (short program in software developpement) my little one graduated from highschool and was accepted in college. And now. Saturday, just before father's day, my dad passed away. Son Sunday morning instead of having brunch with him, my sisters and I were in a restaurant full of people celebrating their fathers, getting organised for his funerals and all. Sharing a box of tissues. We love my father he was a great family man. He will be missed but will always be in our hearts with our mother.

On another note, two weeks ago I got fed up of being a slave to food. The same way I felt when I stopped smoking. I managed to stop because the idea of not being able to go without and having panics attacks when running out of them got to me. That is when I stopped. almost 6 years ago. 2 weeks ago, I got fed up of not being able to resist a slice of bread even when not hungry. Fed up of having to eat everything in sight without any control over it. So I went to a doctor specializing in weight loss and started a very specific diet with very little leeway. And you know what? it hasn't been that hard. why? Because first of all, the diet is balanced and I haven't been hungry since I started and, second of all, anytime I felt like eating something when I wasn't hungry, my hatred for slavery has managed to turn me around and realise this wasn't worth it.

I am done filling voids by filling my mouth, Food is fuel and I finaly get it. It is a fuel you can enjoy tasting but it is fuel. I never got that. I always thought that people considering food as fuel were fanatics! That it wasn't natural to be like that. But now I get it. So I was able to enjoy my meals in the restaurants and make choices that were good for me without feeling deprived of anything. That's a first! I now know that once the weight is off, I will be able to really enjoy an ice cream or a desert the way they should be enjoyed : by being savoured when you eat them. There is no real joy in stuffing oneself. I know that now.

So now I get what my father always said when someone would ask him his secret for hapiness. "You just have to make your hapiness with what you have" wich basically means that if you wait for someting to happen to be happy, you'll never be happy.

Be happy everyone. Life is full of suprises and hopes.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • DOVESEYES
    I'm very sorry for your loss, a Dad is very special.

    He will always be with you when you remember him, the way he spoke, the words he said, the things he didn't say that spoke volumes, the way he made you feel acceptable and able to do all you could wish to do.
    1240 days ago
  • 4RASCALS
    I'm sorry about your dad. You must have wonderful memories of him. Cherish them always. I'm sure he's very proud of your accomplishments. Keep reaching for the stars. It's good to hear from you again.

    1240 days ago
  • KING_SLAYER
    Sis,

    We've been here together for along time and we have both seen victories and defeats. I cheer for you always in your victories and I will mourn your losses with you. Your dad was a very special man and it's sad that he's now gone. But the world got to have him around for longer than most folks and for that I hope your family is grateful. I know there are many people whose hearts will hold memories of your father for many years to come.
    1240 days ago
  • DANCINCAJUN1
    emoticon emoticon
    1240 days ago
  • JULIAMOONCHILD
    How fortunate I am to have you in my life, my precious, precious friend. I learn from you so much. I celebrate your victories and in hearing of them I begin to dream of my own. You are very wise and, most importantly, are willing to put what you have learned in life to good use. It is not always a common thing to do that. Many of us continue to "talk the talk" ... but rarely "walk the walk". Yet you talk ..... and now you walk the walk .... and I am listening. I am truly listening!

    But this day, more than anything else, I cry with you. I will never forget the smile on your Father's face when I viewed his 100th birthday video. But even more beautiful than his precious smile was that exquisitely amazing sparkle in his eyes. It is said that the eyes are the windows into our soul, and clearly through the window of his eyes a profoundly beautiful soul could be seen. You were blessed to have him as your Father - and this world was surely blessed to have him for as long it was allowed his presence here.

    emoticon I send you my love emoticon


    1240 days ago
  • TOONIE
    Sorry to hear about your dad. He sounds like a wonderfully wise person and a loving father. He must have been so proud of you and all that you have accomplished.
    1240 days ago
  • JOHNMARTINMILES
    Great philosopher you dad!

    Make today the greatest day of your life

    emoticon Until tomorrow!
    1240 days ago
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