June 24th 2015
Wednesday, June 24, 2015
It has been 4 years since I joined the Spark. 4 years full of ups and downs. I have lost and found plenty of pounds that I have lost count of. But whatever happened in my life, I have never completely stayed away. I have been inactive for periods but kept coming here to read news of my Spark friends.
Sparkpeople has been a witness of a lot of things. Training to run for a 5 then a 10k, finding out ang going thru the treatments for a breast cancer. Getting married to the most wonderfull man in the world, making improvements on the house, celebrating my father's 100th birthday, going back to school to be an engineer and so on. It is safe to say that my life has been filled with good and not so good things.
This year is, I guess, a reflexion of this. My mother in-law passed away a few months ago. I achieved great grades in school, I received a certificate of excellence for the program I did last year (short program in software developpement) my little one graduated from highschool and was accepted in college. And now. Saturday, just before father's day, my dad passed away. Son Sunday morning instead of having brunch with him, my sisters and I were in a restaurant full of people celebrating their fathers, getting organised for his funerals and all. Sharing a box of tissues. We love my father he was a great family man. He will be missed but will always be in our hearts with our mother.
On another note, two weeks ago I got fed up of being a slave to food. The same way I felt when I stopped smoking. I managed to stop because the idea of not being able to go without and having panics attacks when running out of them got to me. That is when I stopped. almost 6 years ago. 2 weeks ago, I got fed up of not being able to resist a slice of bread even when not hungry. Fed up of having to eat everything in sight without any control over it. So I went to a doctor specializing in weight loss and started a very specific diet with very little leeway. And you know what? it hasn't been that hard. why? Because first of all, the diet is balanced and I haven't been hungry since I started and, second of all, anytime I felt like eating something when I wasn't hungry, my hatred for slavery has managed to turn me around and realise this wasn't worth it.
I am done filling voids by filling my mouth, Food is fuel and I finaly get it. It is a fuel you can enjoy tasting but it is fuel. I never got that. I always thought that people considering food as fuel were fanatics! That it wasn't natural to be like that. But now I get it. So I was able to enjoy my meals in the restaurants and make choices that were good for me without feeling deprived of anything. That's a first! I now know that once the weight is off, I will be able to really enjoy an ice cream or a desert the way they should be enjoyed : by being savoured when you eat them. There is no real joy in stuffing oneself. I know that now.
So now I get what my father always said when someone would ask him his secret for hapiness. "You just have to make your hapiness with what you have" wich basically means that if you wait for someting to happen to be happy, you'll never be happy.
Be happy everyone. Life is full of suprises and hopes.