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Reset: Day 16 No, I won't

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

I managed to squeak in a walk last night with Tucker between rain storms! It was wet, humid and yucky out but we got in about a mile an a half walk. I was happy - and so was he!

So after work I am planning a walk with the dog and then off to visit my friend in the nursing facility. I sent her a text to let her know I was coming up and asked if there was anything I could bring her.

Much to my dismay, she said yes - Werther's sugar free caramels, a diet Pepsi and a diet Mountain Dew. Now I know she has been on a liquid diet for two of her meals and regular food for her third meal. I know she has diabetes. I doubt any of these things are on her list of things to eat. I know how much she loves those things. I know she will eat the entire bag of Werther's by tomorrow! I know it will wreak havoc with her sugar levels. I know losing weight will have a huge effect on her future with her congestive heart failure. I know these things are not in her best interest.

The last time she was in the hospital - she asked all her friends to bring her sugar free candy - and most of us did thinking "Oh, one little bag of sugar free candy is ok - it's sugar free....." Well, she ate tons of it and when her sugar levels were off the chart she told the nurses she had no idea why - until they found her stash! Then of course it was her friends brought her those things and they were so tempting! Absolutely no personal responsibility!

Ugh! I wanted to yell at her. Really? Ask me to bring you stuff you shouldn't have! Then again, she is an adult. How she choses to live her days is her choice. If she wants to eat/drink herself into an early grave - that is her choice. However, I am not going to play a part in it. I am an adult too. I can make decisions too. My answer is no. If she asks why - it is because I love you. Ugh - so why do I feel guilty?

Perhaps it is because I do the same thing? I eat foods I know I shouldn't. I eat foods and quantities of food that I know hurt me - and do it anyhow - laughing in the face of fate, believing I am invincible. Perhaps it is because I would want one of my friends to aid me in my quest for sugar laden, carb laden snacks and soda. Perhaps it is because I have a Coke Zero addiction and I can relate to the NEED for soda! If only it was so easy to say no to myself as it is to my friend!

Then again there is that little part of me that says - this is what she wants. If it brings her happiness who am I to deny her. Who am I to judge?

However, as of now the decision is no - I won't. I will probably bring her something - perhaps a sugar free frozen fruit bar on this warm summer night.

Yep, it's all about little choices and doing things differently. This is different!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Tough love :) So glad you got that walk in. My dog helps push me out the door. He gives me that sad look.
    2233 days ago
  • L*I*T*A*
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2234 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13423552
    You are a true friend and you are making a tough, but the right decision! A lot of other people probably would not think twice, but you are giving it real thought. Kudos to you. She may be angry or hurt, but deep down she will know why you did it. I agree with others. You can check with the facility or you probably already know what snacks they let her have. Great job getting your walks in with this insane weather. We were not supposed to have rain today and I get up and guess what - it's raining!!
    2234 days ago
  • MARYINFL2000
    emoticon I commend you for thinking about it and your decision to listen to what's in your heart instead of caving in to something you don't believe is a healthy choice for someone you care about. Good for you to even come up with a better alternative! Way to go!
    2234 days ago
    2234 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14034154
    BRAVO to you, for bring your friend what she should be eating to get healthy, rather than what she wants, to spike her sugar! You're a WONDER WOMAN!!!


    - Nancy Jean -
    2234 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13668887
    I know it's hard not to be an "enabler" but sometimes you must. The hard choices will never be easy.

    I love, love, love Wallahalla's suggestion!
    2235 days ago
    If it were me, I'd make her a homemade Top Ten card with "10 things I love about you". Then if she asked why I didn't bring the other, I'd tell her I wanted to give her something that would last longer and be a reminder of how important she is.

    I personally am a sucker for homemade stuff, especially if I knew it took a little bit of time and thought.
    2235 days ago
  • LSIG14
    One thing you might consider when dealing with your friend's "wants" vs "should haves" is what we did with my diabetic Mother. Check with the Nursing staff to see if they could keep the treats at the Nurse's Station and issue them out as appropriate. We told Mom that the Doctor said we had to do that she seemed to accept that and stopped being angry with us for saying NO! (Of course the doctor has to agree that limits are necessary in order for this to work!) It really is easier to say no to somebody else than yourself but if it is medically necessary, the staff should be involved. Sending hugs because I know this puts you in a sticky situation.
    2235 days ago
    We all do crave what we know we shouldn't eat. Occasionally it is OK but in your friends case I agree this is not the time to indulge. I agree you are making the right decision. You can always call the nursing facility and ask what would be appropriate to bring her as a snack. Then she can have a treat and you know it won't harm her. Maybe you can take her a non food treat. Something she would like. Just a thought. Pat
    2235 days ago
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