Hi Sparkfriends! I've not been posting much, because I haven't had much new to say. I've been doing a lot of thinking, though. I've spent the past few months trying to observe myself and figure out why I make some of the choices I do. I've come to a few realizations and I think I'm ready to put some of my thoughts into actions.
I've realized that I can't lose weight or get healthy just to please someone else. Not to please my doctor, or my family, friends, or society. I've got to do this for me, and only for me. It's my struggle, and I own it. This makes it personal and meaningful to only me.
I've also realized a lot of my weight struggles have to do with my mental outlook. When I'm feeling happy and upbeat, I make better food and exercise decisions. When I'm not feeling well physically, or I'm feeling blue for whatever reason, I don't make healthy choices.
So, my plans for this summer are to try to focus on achieving a good mental outlook and make healthy choices.
I've reset my weight ticker. Before I was embarrassed to put my starting weight, but I've decided to be honest. My highest weight was 220, I had lost down to 208, but then regained up to 216 where I am now. Instead of listing my goal as losing 70 pounds (which it was before, to get down to 150), I'm listing my goal as getting below 200. I think I'd feel healthier if I could get under 200 pounds.
My plans are to try to live in the moment and take it day by day. I plan to evaluate myself during times when I'm not feeling happy or I'm in pain, and try to figure a way out of it that involves a healthy choice (instead of an unhealthy choice). I hope to try some meditation and yoga. I want to concentrate on making a mind-body connection, and instead of trying to numb any aches and pains or bad moods (which is what I realize I was doing with food), I want to just experience it and learn how to make the pain stop, or at least learn how to live with it. If needed, I'll take the pain medicine, but I won't numb the pain with food.
Today I'm dealing with back pain. I pulled a muscle yesterday, just reaching for something on a shelf. I'm going to try some gentle stretching and breathing exercises.
Best of luck to everyone who happens to read this. Hope you are having a good day.