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Releasing Emotions

Wednesday, June 03, 2015

As I mentioned in my previous blog, I did not raise my voice, or even cry, when the incident with my son's girlfriend occurred. Since then I have also had to deal with my son being verbally abusive. Again, I did not raise my voice and cried very little after he left - just little bits on and off. I always feel guilty for crying in front of others.
Today I think I am suffering the effects of not dealing with my grief and the emotional trauma I have been dealing with for a long time.
On my way to work the vision suddenly blurred in my left eye. I got to work and was told that half my desk was being removed to make room for a new (temporary) employee. Then I got an email from my boss telling me that he wants me to keep applying for a grant (which we were denied) until it is accepted. This amounts to hundreds of extra hours of work on my part.
I tried to just start working and ignore the chaos around me but my blurred vision was making it extremely difficult to see the computer screen. Finally I just started crying silent tears. I realized if I didn't leave I had the potential to become hysterical. I drove home and just started crying. I cried for at least half an hour. I'm still a little weepy and hoping I will be able to deal with work tomorrow. My eye is considerably better, so I'm thinking that may have been stress related as well.
I'm so sorry I've been such a downer on Spark lately. emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CHERIRIDDELL
    You look after yourself
    1132 days ago
  • SQUIRRELMOMMA1
    I am so sorry. You have so much to deal with and grieve over. We are here for you. emoticon
    1135 days ago
  • LACOOK2014
    You don't need to apologize. I hope you are feeling better now, it does help to let it out as hard as it is to do that. Let go and Let God.I am glad you share with us and I truly hope it helps, I have been through this with my mom it is heart breaking. Hugs and prayers are sent your way.

    emoticon
    1136 days ago
  • MASTERPIECE8
    So sorry your heartache continues. emoticon
    1137 days ago
  • MISSY455
    Not sure if you have ever had a migraine before, but mine used to start with blurring vision. I wouldn't be surprised with the kind of stress you have been under. Sometimes we just need to deal with our emotions, even an afternoon of crying, to start to feel better.

    The situation with your son doesn't have an easy resolution, but I hope that you can start to find peace with the decision you and your husband had to make for your own well being. I know you have a long road ahead of you, I just hope that you know we are here for you.
    emoticon
    1137 days ago
  • WONDERGALE
    I'm so sorry you were upset today. You don't need this kind of stress in your life. I don't know what your son's girlfriend is capable of nor do I know how much influence she has over your son, but I think you need to cut ties with both of them for awhile. You need to take a break. emoticon
    1137 days ago
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