My Composite Goal Picture and how we talk dirty to ourselves
Monday, June 01, 2015
I had made a composite picture of what I want my future body to look like. I found a fabulous upper body and a absolutely terrific lower body and stuck it all together with my head on it. I equalized the skin colors and it fit together really nicely.
so, I put it on my goal board and every time I logged in to SP I'd sit for a few and go through the goal board. When that picture would come up I'd imagine myself looking in a mirror at that body.
Well, somewhere along the line of doing that for about two months, I decided that I didn't like the look of the bulge behind the left leg on this picture. It somehow over the next few weeks became repulsive and very undesirable.
Then it hit me. Those were absolutely beautiful legs. It was my attitude that changed. This is what I have done with my own body; the body that has somehow kept me alive all these years. I taught myself to hate it.
So, I stood up immediately and went into the bathroom, I have been using reverse psychology on myself trying to if not eliminate then decrease the dirty talking I do to myself. And so I and stripped down and looked at my body. I looked at all the wrinkles and sagging skin and discolorations and the various lumps here and there and everything else I couldn't stand about my body and I told it "I love you" and "Thank you".
I feel better now even though that bump of calf is still there in the picture, and it still looks kinda funny and I want to go in and shave it down, I leave it there to remind me to love my body. It's the only one I've got and if I want to LIVE then I need to use what I've got and I had better really like it.
Have a hug full day,