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What if...

Sunday, May 31, 2015

So I just watched a video that says a habit is formed when you get a cue to perform the habit, then you perform the habit, then you feel better. What if I apply this to binge and purging? I get the urge to binge and purge, I do it (repeatedly) and I feel better. But it actually makes me feel worse in the end. So what if every time I binge and purge, I have to eat a teaspoon of cayenne pepper. I know self-harm doesn't work cause that is a separate habit and I have no idea how that makes me feel better but it does. But I know that cayenne pepper makes me feel miserable. I've taken cayenne pepper pills and I get sick and miserable. I'm just crazy enough to try this tomorrow.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LARISSA238
    *hugs* I binged/purged 2 days ago, so now I'm at day 2 of recovery. Just take it step by step. Try to not get overwhelmed by the days, just know that you can pick yourself up and get back your life. I can be your buddy if you want... just send me a Spark Mail and I will talk to you there. You can do this! emoticon
    1769 days ago
    Hi there, read through your blog after seeing your "Help" message on you wanting to leave the house.
    Hope you feel a bit more stable now. The cayenne will replace a bad habit by again a bad habit, which cannot be your intention. It seems to me you really want to make changes in the cycle of binging and purging as well as staying away from alcohol. It is really great to see and read about your initiatives and how eager you are to make changes. I have no medical experience whatsoever and find it difficult to advise but maybe it would help you to join the following support group on Sparkpeople:


    Please take care of yourself. You are an amazing person whom has overcome so much already. By getting healthy foods and making sure you build up your vitamins and proteins you will be able to exercise and feel happier.

    If people around you offer help please grab and take the opportunity and chance. We are in this world with others so people can help each other. I know for sure that with your will power that you are showing through your blogs you can overcome this, you can get stronger, mentally as well as physically. Do indeed continue to take your medication as instructed. I know you want to leave the house desperately but time will come for that to happen. Just stick around.
    1769 days ago
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