Time to Get Serious

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Yesterday was my very first counseling session I can remember since the split where I didn't bawl my eyes out. I nearly teared up twice, but not a single tear fell. I went in thinking I needed help in trying to figure out how to move on, but in talking it out with my therapist I realized I'm already doing that...and I'm pretty good at it. I recongize that I'm a resilient person. I've always had to be. My childhood was nothing I would wish on anyone and my entire life has been a series of trying to prove the negative things people have said about me wrong. This, I realize, has just been another step in this process. I'm not trying to prove people wrong anymore...I'm just recognizing that they are wrong. Plain and simple. And if they want to continue to be wrong about me...that's on them.

So I've started the process of moving on. I have plans and goals and dreams and hopes for the next 10 years or so. I know what my general path is, and yet I'm willing to accept that if things have to change I have the ability to change them. I'm lucky in that I've found my passion and I'm actually good at it. I'm also lucky in that I have a job that makes it so that I can slowly pursue that passion and work toward making it my full-time profession one day. And I'm lucky enough to not need that profession to live, because I like the other things I do in my full-time job right now and I would be alright to do that until I retire as well.

After an hour of talking it through, I realized that I'm ready to be serious about my weight loss and healthy living again. I've healed my heart just enough to be able to move on to the outward stuff that I need to do in order to get my surgery and make a better life for myself (and make photography easier on my body).

I've done the math and I need to lose another 1.25 pounds each week to meet my goal.

Totally doable.

And I'm ready to set a plan for health and fitness and meal planning. Because even though my leg still hurts, I can walk again. The main problems are healing and the other will (I hope) heal as long as I take things slow. So, I'm planning a month ahead. Time to print out a calendar and set out what my workout goals for the day are. One thing I did before is that I used other things, not regular workouts, to fill the gaps so that I was doing something every day. For example, going home tonight and cleaning for 15-30 minutes. Deep cleaning that requires me to sweat a little bit and move around, but will allow me to be easy on my foot/leg. Or painting my room, which I want to do either tonight or sometime this weekend. Again, easy on my leg, I can take breaks, but a great workout. I'm going to go back to doing those things again. Mowing the lawn. Taking the dogs for quick walk down the street. Little things that added up can make a bigger impact.

And I will buckle down on my water and food intake and make sure I'm hitting most of my goals most of the time. I was up a pound this week, but I suspect that it's partly the swelling in my legs from this injury. I'm hoping I can drop that pretty soon as it heals.

And, finally, I'm going to keep doing things every week that take care of my heart. I really want to go get a pedicure for the first time. I want to paint my room. I want to refinish my vanity. I want to give myself spa nights and things like that built in to my weekly plans. Even just making my brand new bedding every morning makes me feel better about myself. Sitting at my vanity to do my hair and makeup in the mornings (which I couldn't do before) has helped as well. I feel like I'm putting myself back together and that helps a lot.

So, that's what I'm working on today. I'm going to set up goals and rewards and plans and surround myself with reminders of what I'm working toward. This is about me. I have to let the rest of it go.


(R) 5/28
15 - 30 min cleaning
1 hour painting?
Update website portfolio
Dinner: Skillet Pasta
Calories: 1800-2400
Water: 64 oz

(F) 5/29
20 min walk
Grocery Shopping!
Movie with the boys
Dinner: Stuffed Peppers with Cauliflower Rice
Calories: 1800-2400
Water: 64oz

(S) 5/30
15-30 min cleaning
1-2 hours painting
Update website
Dinner: No Work Chili
Calories: 1800-2400
Water: 64 oz

(U) 5/31
Pickup Japanese student from Airport
Buy something at Target for your room!
Dinner: Japanese Steakhouse
Prep lunches for the week
Calories: 1800-2400
Water: 64oz

(M) 6/1
20 min walk
Update website.
Prep album for Senior client
Dinner: Chicken Stir Fry
Calories: 1800-2400
Water: 64 oz

(T) 6/2
Office cleaning /Rest day
Prep Album for senior client
Dinner: Leftovers
Calories: 1800-2400
Water: 64oz

(W) 6/3
20 min walk
Prep Album for senior client
Dinner: Chicken Broccoli Alfredo
Calories: 1800-2400
Water: 64 oz

(R) 6/4
20 min walk
Prep camera for graduation
Collect grad ideas
Dinner: Pot Roast and Mashed Potatoes
Calories: 1800-2400
Water: 64 oz

SELF WEIGH-IN: ____________ (Goal: 451.9)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    What a great plan!

    Go get that pedicure - its the one thing I do for myself once a month - without fail- I even scrimp in other places financially to make it happen if I have to. It's an hour of blissful time in a massage chair where they pamper me... (hint- shave your legs the day before lol)

    Take care of yourself!

    2215 days ago
    That is awesome! You have been through so much and you are still so strong. Keep FIGHTING. emoticon
    2216 days ago
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    Sounds like a great plan! I have cried on the therapists couch many times, and as she said, therapy is a place to let it all out! That is how we learn, grow and move on!

    emoticon emoticon
    2216 days ago
    Love this blog! It really sounds like you have found your path and know what you want to achieve and that is awesome! I love your ideas for taking care of yourself too! You have got this!
    2216 days ago
    2216 days ago

    2216 days ago
    I'm proud of you! You are doing so great. Yes, you have hard moments/ days, but you are pushing through. You are putting yourself first. You are making progress! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2216 days ago
    Small steps lead to great accomplishments

    Make today the greatest day of your life

    emoticon Until tomorrow!
    2216 days ago
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