Before. Sad but true.
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
Today I took "before" pictures and was honestly surprised by what I saw. It's been so long since I even looked at myself. I've been wearing ratty old clothes and basically living in sweats and stretchy yoga pants. Part of this is being a new mom. Part of this is being in denial about the shape my body is currently. I had no idea things had gotten to where they are. I'm so sad that I had gotten in such great shape and then just let it all slide thru my fingers. A friend of mine is in recovery and she said that the first time is a gift. I really feel that's so true for my weight journey. I had never seriously tried to get healthy before and that first time I got there was a gift...that I gave away. This time HAS to be different. I feel different this time. I feel calmer and less crazy about this whole process. I feel like this is has to be a change for good. I don't want my daughter to see me yo-yo and go through the emotional turmoil that goes along with it.
So, here it is. To be true to myself and this process I'm putting the before pics here. Be they are actually now pics. Right now this is how I look at 265 pounds. It's how I look 7 months post-partem. It's how it is. I don't like it so I have to change it.