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Family Drama - Again :-(

Monday, May 25, 2015

I had a bad feeling for a couple of days. My son and his girlfriend (who both live with us) were on edge and high energy (not a good combination). They started deep cleaning the house and rearranging all our stuff. We were nice about it, but they were angry that we weren't "grateful."
I had a one-on-one talk with my son on Friday and I thought we had reached some resolution. We strongly disagree with each other, but at least we were talking and listening. Also I thought they would realize that we are their last resort. They live with us rent-free on the agreement that they are saving to move out.
Yesterday, everything fell apart. They got upset that we had moved some of our things back to where we could find them. I explained that it was more convenient. They started yelling and stomped away to son's bedroom. Hubby went outside to mow the lawn.
A bit later, son came out of his room and told me I was crazy and needed psychiatric help. His girlfriend came out and said I was not crazy, just brainwashed by hubby and they should feel sorry for me. Son got in his truck and left. Girlfriend started badgering me that I needed to divorce my husband because he is ruining their lives (not sure how as there is almost no interaction between them and he is always fixing things for them, giving them money, etc.)
I told her I had no intention of choosing my adult children over my husband (never raised my voice). She started screaming at me. I asked her to leave.
She continued screaming. Hubby could hear it from outside, so he came in to make sure everything was okay. He was standing at least ten feet away from us and calmly told her to leave. She flew at him in a rage and started punching and hitting him. I called 911 and we had to have the police and paramedics come. Hubby was bleeding from multiples cuts to his face and the top of his head.
Girlfriend had jumped out of son's bedroom window and had him pick her up down the street. Cops found them and she is now in jail. Son is home and freaking out because she could be charged with a felony. He wants husband to drop charges. This not our first issue with her. I don't want to ruin her life, but she made the choice to attack my husband. Anyway, at the very least, she will never set foot in my house again. Son is getting two weeks notice to find someplace else to live as well, unless his attitude changes drastically, which I doubt.
Food-wise, I was good. I was so scared and stressed out that I just ate a normal dinner and nothing else. I am hoping I can keep that resolve today as I can swing one way or the other when I am stressed. I either don't eat or comfort eat, depending on how nauseous I am.
As always, thank you for listening. Spark is the only place where I have no family members and very few close friends IRL, so I can talk about what 's really going on and not have to worry about gossip.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I am sorry you have to go through this. It sounds like your son and girlfriend were trying to take over your house. Please do not drop the charges against this girl. She is trouble and as long as your son is involved with her, he is going to be trouble too. Stay strong and let them figure out how they are going to live. It is not your responsibility to take care of them.
    1449 days ago
  • LACOOK2014
    I am so sorry to hear you are going through this, very stressful I know, seen alot growing up. Take some time for your self to de- stress. Hugs and prayers
    1452 days ago
    That kind of stress in your home is just not what anyone needs. I'm glad she won't be coming back in. Good for you and your husband for not dropping the charges.

    Take some time for yourself to destress. I'm sure you need it.
    1452 days ago
    I'm afraid to say, the girlfriend needs help! Unfortunately, she'll never get it because she won't admit she needs it! I think you made the right decision regarding the two of them, and I really hope you are able to keep that promise! Praying for your wisdom and strength! emoticon
    1453 days ago
    So sorry this happened, but I think you handled it very well, what you said, what you did, and then you didn't emotionally eat! Champion!. Prayers for relief in that your son "gets it" and starts working on positive changes.
    1453 days ago
    So sorry you are struggling with family issues
    1454 days ago
  • 4KWALK
    How sad this situation must be. You did the right thing by getting the girl out and also giving your son the 2 weeks notice as far as I can tell. Sometimes the best help we can give our children is back off and let them find their own way. Take care of yourself. I hope your husband is all right.
    1457 days ago
    So sorry about our problems at home. Our children are always our children, but there are ties we wonder what in the world happened!

    1457 days ago
  • MISSY455
    So sorry you are having to deal with all of this. At the very least the girlfriend sounds to have anger issues. Although you don't want to do anything detrimental, not pressing charges could be worse for her in the long run. She needs more help than you and your husband can provide. I hope your son can see that too. You are in my thoughts.
    1457 days ago
    Sounds as though this girl friend may be mentally ill or on drugs. If your son is supporting her behavior (such as rearranging furniture etc.) I would consider he is also on drugs. I do not know the history of this, and it is probably not what you want to hear, but you are dealing with people who, in any case are not rational. Unfortunately it's hard to think of your own children (even adult children) this way but it is part of our 21st century. Please get them out of your home and your life - and then get some mental health support for yourself and your husband as well. You and hubby both deserve better than this. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts.
    1457 days ago
    Oh no - so sorry - what a tough situation
    1458 days ago
    So sorry, Teressa! You are doing great. Hang in there.
    1458 days ago
    I am so sorry to hear this has happened to you.
    Well, at least now you and your husband will be
    coming to an end to the drama. I am sure
    that the stress/tension has been a lot to deal with.
    Blessings to you and you husband.
    1458 days ago
    emoticon What a difficult situation. Hope today is going better for you, and that your DH is ok.
    1458 days ago
    Thinking of you and hoping all goes well with the son and girlfriend scenerio. That just sounds like an awful situation. Sending good thoughts your way. Be brave and stick to your guns. emoticon
    1458 days ago
    Oh what a sad story! Hope you find a solution and get to talk things out! Stay true to yourself. Blessings to you and your husband for the future!
    emoticon emoticon
    1458 days ago
    OMG, You are dealing with a very unhealthy woman. I do hope you keep your word and never let her in your home again!
    1458 days ago
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