Thursday, May 14, 2015
Last week I shared 3 Exercise Tools to get you moving. This week I'm sharing 3 Feelings Tools to help you feel feelings (it's a skill!). In case you haven't guessed, these are all things I need to learn myself. www.sparkpeople.com/mypa
Be Kind. This is non-negotiable. I'll say this over and over. No beating yourself up. No judgy-ness. Just be curious about what's happening, why it's happening, and its ripple effect.
Just Vibrations. I'd like to offer that feelings and emotions are simply vibrations in our body. If an alien (or zombie) asked you to describe fear, what would you say? What about doubt? Happiness? What sensations do you feel in your body that describe fear? For me, it's like a ball of rubber bands with buzzing bees inside in my belly; there's a slight constriction in my throat; a mild heat behind my eyes; and my breathing's way up high in my chest. When I think about it, what's so horrible about experiencing those sensations? Why do I spend so much time resisting, reacting, or numbing it?
Name It. When you catch yourself in an intense feeling and start to feel swallowed by it, name it. Say "I feel fear. I feel shame. I feel doubt." Name it, breathe, then allow it to happen. You may naturally relax a bit just by calling it out. Then, describe those sensations. This is the "feeling feelings" part. Describing the sensations creates some distance, which calms your lizard brain down, and kicks in a whole cascade of physiological processes that let the feeling pass in a few minutes. Remember, naming a feeling gives it substance, which means you can work with it.