Okay, it’s time I stop hiding and post an update about my April doctor’s appointment. This was my deadline for my goals. Well, since I hadn’t met my goals, I was really worried about it. I gained three pounds since six months ago, but my cholesterol and blood sugar levels were about the same. So overall I’m happy with it, as I expected worse.
I talked with my doctor about my struggles with weight. It seems like nothing I do is working any more. I lost 12 pounds last fall, but gained some, lost some, and gained again. I told him I can lose weight at about 1,100 calories a day, but then I’m constantly hungry and cranky, and obsessing about food all day. At 1,400 calories a day, I don’t lose weight, but I’m less hungry. For me to not feel hungry, I need about 1,700 calories a day, but then I gain weight.
I asked my doctor about appetite suppressants. I was thinking about Topamax, a migraine medicine that sometimes helps with weight loss. He thinks the Topamax and other appetite suppressants have so many side effects that they aren’t worth it. His suggestion is to eat smaller meals throughout the day. I currently eat about four meals a day, and he said I should try breaking up the meals even more, as much as eight meals a day, staying within the calorie range. He said I should be “grazing” throughout the day. He also said to emphasize protein, as that is the best way to control hunger. So, I’m going to give this a try.
The other big revelation for me is that I realized I have to stop setting goals and try a different approach. I know that goals really help a lot of people keep motivated, so if it works for you, that’s great. But for me, it seems to stress me out. It was like my diet had become a full-time job that I absolutely hated every day, and wanted to quit because I wasn’t getting results even when I tried my best. It seemed like so much work with no paycheck (weight loss). When I realized a few months ago that I wasn’t going to lose the weight before my doctor’s appointment, I felt like a failure and had a lot of stress and anxiety, which of course makes it even harder to lose weight (my cortisol levels must have been climbing). Then I was depressed, not sleeping well, etc.
After a lot of meditation and trying to step back and analyze the situation, I realized I have to just accept the facts, and not hate myself and beat myself up for my struggles. After about a week of “letting go” of the goals, I started to relax, feel happy again, sleep better, and even get more energy.
So, I’ve decided to replace the word “goal” with the word “reminder.” I’ll remind myself to eat well, exercise, etc., but I won’t use the word goal. To me, that word sets up a competitive, winner or loser battle. Reminder is a gentler word, and I respond better to encouragement than to competition. I’m going to try new things and see what works. And I want to have fun along the way!
Thanks to all the SparkFriends who stopped by my SparkPage and kept in touch. Now that I’m not hiding, I’ll “remind” myself to be more active on the website again!