Shedding more than pounds
Tuesday, April 14, 2015
In the past, I've allowed stress to get in the way of taking care of myself. Granted, I was homeschooling a child with severe health issues/needs - who also had more hours than a full time job of therapies and doctor appointments. That's just not the kind of stress that ever lets up. And when every day is so busy and jam packed, all the emotions you don't have the time or luxury to deal with during the day, come to haunt you at night.
I suffered panic attacks at night for years. My acupuncturist recommended a book that helped me tremendously, I took a meditation seminar, a few sessions with a therapist, started yoga and walking, made sure to spend enough time outdoors, and added some supplements recommended by my holistic MD. I learned to manage and overcome the panic attacks without meds.
But all that stress really did a number on my health. I gained a ton of weight, wasn't sleeping well, felt terrible, and everything seemed overwhelming. I've worked with holistic doctors to restore my adrenal gland function, hormone balance, and get my body out of "crisis mode". I am feeling "normal" again for the first time in years. It's wonderful.
So I DO know how to manage, cope with, and overcome BIG HUGE stress of really big life stuff. Where I've been struggling lately is the medium stuff. Meditation, yoga, exercise, (and life perspective) really do help me blow off the small day to day irritations we all have. It's the medium stuff that just seems to mess with my self care. And most of the "medium stressors" are not any of my doing - it's usually other people's messes that they bring into my life, uninvited. It's not life or death, nor is it just mild irritations. It's stuff that needs work and struggle to get through, that people don't want to do. Bad choices that need to be undone, mainly. Making changes in how they approach life, if they want different results.
I admit - I'm known to speak my mind. Maybe too bluntly, sometimes. I'm a tough, strong, no-nonsense, buckle up and get done what must be done, quityerbitchen and get off your butt and DO something type of woman. I work very hard to do what's right and to keep my own life humming along as smoothly as possible, no matter what comes, my way. To have options and strength and calm to ride out any storms and enjoy every sunny day with gratitude and joy.
Is that why others expect me to deal with their problems? Or expect me to keep being the "good, supportive" friend who gives and gives and gives until one day, my own needs interfered -and then I never hear from them again?
For example - I've had more than one person in the past month come to me with life situations that they have created with their own really poor choices, which at the time, I expressed concern about. I had to be the Bad Guy (selfish, uncaring, snobby, mean, etc.) because I won't step in to fix it for them. Again. These are full grown adults - my own age - fully capable, just not willing to have life be "too hard" and have to make sacrifices they don't want to.
I'm not one to be an enabler. I've had my own plate more than full with struggles that were not of my doing. I have difficulty understanding why these people are coming to me lately. I have healthy boundaries in place. Apparently, as far as I can figure, I am the person of last resort after they have used up the help and goodwill of all others. Wow! Things sure get ugly when someone feels you owe them somehow because they don't want to help themselves. There is a sense of "I like the way your life looks, I want that, I can't get it - YOU get into my life and make it that way, because I don't want to do the work."
And so, as I am working on shedding pounds, it appears I am shedding people that probably shouldn't be in my life, as well.
This kind of stuff used to stress me out, and I'd comfort eat. And I'd try to make nice with the people in my life, to keep the peace. THIS time, I'm staying committed to me -to my healthy choices in food and fitness. And by putting MY well being first, not only am I shedding pounds off my body but also dead weight out of my life. I'm OK with that. I'm hopeful that it leaves space to be filled with something (some people) that are better for me.