wake up call
Friday, April 03, 2015
who d a thunk it.!!!
apparently Im not the happy woman I used to be.
I had all my grandgirl babies to stay last night and it was wonderful.
I so enjoyed it :) Ive been failry miserable for a few years now...not depressed..just turning into a grumpy old woman.
I had a child late in life..17 years after child number 4 and it has put a strain on me in all sorts of ways physically especially with an undiscovered heart condition ..arthritis and general wear and tear. and exhuastion.
the biggest change though has been in my attitude ..Ive been ready to curl up and die (slowly day by day year by year) Im not the fun mum I was. (my elder daughter informs me ) Ive lost all interest in things...I get easily stressed and been unable to cope with things Ive always been able to sail through. ... and Ive only just realised that its not whats wrong with me or my age or my weight its my attitude my groove my love of just living thats gone..well Im hoping not gone but just hiding.
I brought up my first four children on my own and loved every minute...Id lost that feeling.
and I needed to find it again...and driving the grandbabies to our house last night all of us giggling I thought to myself...this is how I used to feel..Im going to be happy about them staying ...they are so not a burden in my life.
dya what ... I love to laugh and I love to socialise and I love to do stuff...any stuff ...lots of stuff...
so drink a toast to me and wish me well in recapturing my MOJO ..my happy place :)