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A little lost

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Day 1-sort of. I'm a chronic starter. I didn't use to be. I used to make choices and modify as needed. I used to be happy, laugh a lot, go do things with my family. Now I sit inside, feeling miserable and find new ways to start to get back to the old me. I miss her. I had never been happier when I found out we were expecting child #4. I felt good and stayed active. I didn't even gain a pound until my 20th week, although my shape had sure changed! In those last 19 weeks though, I ballooned up over 60 pounds. It's ok though because I knew it would come off with breastfeeding, my pretty fantastic diet and some exercise. Wrong. I didn't weigh any less upon discharge from the hospital, and I was up some by my check up. Once able to, I resumed exercise carefully so as not to disturb my milk supply. Nothing. I went to the doctor, now 16 pounds heavier than the day I delivered. Everything checked out. They told me I needed to give it time. I've started every new diet, exercise, self love, meditating, ritual possible in these last two years but today, I stand here 9 pounds heavier than delivery day, 70 pounds heavier than my last happy self and a good 100 pounds heavier than my goal. Today I started letting go. I'm a little lost and I know it but I believe that I can succeed. Life can be worthwhile and I deserve to smile - it may not be today but in time....I will find my way.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hello...Spark People has become my support groups for you see I am a recovering grease-holic. Yes, it is true if you can "fry it" I can "eat it".

    Moderation is a very important key to being successful in our journey. One day at a time....Look for small victories...Look for non-scale successes.

    Spark People research has found that people who get involved in social teams tend to be more successful in their efforts.

    I want to personally invite you to join the SparkPeople's Official Healthy Habits Challenge Team. There you will find others that will support you in your journey and you will be able to help others as well.

    On our team page BOBCATGIRL76 one of our team leaders has a great article to check out. Let me know what you think.

    We are here to help. YOU can DO this! Oh by the way...have you ever tried Fried cardboard, don't have much favor but a nice crunch....lol....Live life today.

    Remember: By Endurance we conquer-Shackleton

    1797 days ago
    P.S. We all get lost from time to time...use it as a means of getting to where you want to be. Map it out. Fail to plan....plan to fail as the saying goes.:)
    1799 days ago
    Take heart that we all can take some of your pain and share it amongst us and that it becomes easier as u share and allow that pain to be replaced by love...that I am sure anyone who reads your blog is sending your way. U can succeed & find Ur way:)
    1799 days ago
    My wishes for U..that U allow yourself to move beyond day 1. That U take steps forward as U see fit (maybe a smile in the mirror) & that U let the little acts of kindness to yourself add up and turn into mountains & that u come here & find ur way :)
    1799 days ago
  • RHOOK20047
    Welcome to SparkPeople. We are all here for the same reason, no matter what our personal story is. We are here to help each other to get to that healthy point we want to be in our lives. It is not going to be easy, but it is attainable. I have found that changing things up is the way to start weight loss. Make small goals and they will lead to big successes. You have to make you #1 and tell yourself that you are worth it. If you don't take care of yourself you can't take care of anyone else. You can do it! We are here to help! Welcome and get active on this site. emoticon
    1799 days ago
    One step /one day at a time, best of luck
    1799 days ago
    1799 days ago
  • JIBBIE49
    I breastfed four of my five children, (I knew I wouldn't have time with my last one as I was to busy with the four boys to have time to sit down and nurse) but I drank LOTS of water, never any milk, and I had my protein and was on about 800 calories of just lean meats, & veggies and the weight came off. NO pasta, bread, cookies, cereal, or high fat foods. I nursed my oldest son until he was 15 months, and I lost the 60# I'd gained within 3. With the others I gained about 40# and lost it within the first 3 months, but I really drank a lot of water and stayed on the diet. I just have to stay low carb or I won't lose. I did take vitamins.
    Four kids a is lot of work, and the older they get the more work they are and expense.
    1799 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon are worth it. Keep up the CAN DO attitude. You'll find lots of help here.
    1800 days ago
    emoticon we all have been where you are and right now you need to get yourself into a new frame of mine Spring has sprung which gives all a new start this is your time for a new start of changing to a healthy lifestyle that you can pass on to your family
    1800 days ago
    Don't give up on yourself. This is a temporary setback. Get back into doing things with your family and smile even when you don't feel it. Pretty soon you will start feeling better. Just keep moving and things will change. Get out and enjoy life, no matter what!!! emoticon emoticon
    1800 days ago
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