3/11-3/17/15 Week 1 Recap
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
"We cannot change anything if we cannot change our thinking.” (Santosh Kalwar)
3/11 WI: 165.0
3/18 WI: 164.2
NSVs: Ate vegan on weekdays, tracked daily on MFP, shared thoughts/experience with hubby a few days during the week (vulnerability moments for sure!)
First week of intentional weight loss is in the books. I noticed that there were a few times where "diet thoughts" creeped in - Am I losing weight? I hope the scale goes down. What if I didn't do enough cardio? I shouldn't have eaten XYZ. - but I didn't get caught in the spiral of those thoughts.
Expecting those kinds of thoughts to occur makes it easier to observe them when they happen. So when they do happen, I can better see them for what they are: the firing of neural pathways that were laid down and reinforced from many years of deprivation and obsession.
And if the thoughts are my brain's way of doing what it does best, which is keeping me safe and protected in the most efficient way possible, I can be grateful for those thoughts. It also means I can work to change my brain, and set new neural pathways for the behaviors I want (eating in a sane way). Further more, it means that there's nothing wrong with ME as a person, there's no failing as a human being because I binge eat.
Yes, I overate all weekend. Yes, there were a couple times I beat myself up. The difference this time was that I noticed much more quickly when my inner critic was in charge, and was able to remove the judgment and separate myself from the usual story (I'll always overeat, I can't diet, I screwed up again). When the judgment was gone and there was distance from the story, I relaxed, accepted my body and how it felt in that moment, and got on with my day.
Here's to week 2!