It will improve

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

My DD was diagnosed with OCD at the beginning of last summer. I always thought that was just a "clean freak" kind of thing. What I have learned is that it is extreme anxiety that causes the person to develop coping mechanisms (such as washing hands) to deal with the anxiety. As the coping mechanisms become less effective they add more on to the routine of coping. We had found a great therapist who was really helping and shortly after school started decided that medicine would also be helpful. We really felt that she was making strides and saw improvements in behavior and socializing. Part of DDs problem is she doesn't like to be around lots of people, or really people in general she fears the germs as well as is very self conscious. She started seeming like things weren't going real well toward Christmas time. That is when I moved her medicine. I always asked her each night if she took her medicine and watched her go in the kitchen to get it. Well, I moved the bottle because I was getting the pharmacy number off it and didn't put it back. (Not on purpose, just happened.) That night I asked her if she took the pill and she said, "yep." That night when I went to bed I saw the pills sitting on my dresser and knew that she hadn't taken it. I let it go for about 1 week before I said something to her. She told me that she hadn't been taking them for a while, that she had been throwing them out. Well, she was smart enough to listen at the Dr. when he said she didn't have to wean off the medicine because she was on such a low dosage that it wouldn't hurt her to stop. So the next week when we took her to the therapist she refused to talk. This was about the beginning of January. So since January we have been forcing her to go once a month, of course she still refuses to talk. The most frustrating part is that I believe she stopped talking because her cousin told her to. Her cousin was having problems and they asked if they could go to the same therapist that my DD was going to and my DH told his sister yes. (He didn't ask me, I would have said that I didn't think it was a good idea.) After cousin went two or three times is when DD stopped talking and the whole pill thing happened.

So, the past few weeks have been very difficult with her. Part of the OCD is when she gets really upset she says she wishes she was dead. That is what prompted us to take her to the Dr. to begin with. So she's been saying to more often now. I know the Dr. didn't think it was a serious threat but it is hard to hear. Then on top of it the majority of her brunt is usually on her brother. She can't stand to be around him when he eats, she won't let him touch her, just mean and nasty. It's just so very, very difficult.

My DS was finally diagnosed with ADD in January as well. I have always thought that he had attention problems. (I had/have them as well as did his grandfather.) Probably since second grade. I always asked his teachers and they always told me he was fine at school. This year in the fall I went in for a conference (the teachers had marked conference not needed, but I requested to go it.) and when I got in there it was repeated by all the teachers that he was having trouble staying on task and one teacher even said, "I'm sure you've heard this ever year." No, I had not! So frustrating. So the Dr. (boy he gets a lot of my money!!!) put him on a low dose of a time release medication. So we have been meeting with the doctor every 4 weeks to adjust and try to get the medicine regulated. We have seen a big difference in his grades, which is good and he comes home and knocks out homework which he has never done before. I just hate giving him medication.

I have so many things to be thankful for, I need to focus on those instead of all the challenges and take each day one at a time.
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  • STORK61
    Kris, thinking about you.
    I think it was Shannon who asked you if DD likes to draw. I have sent several teen (and older and younger) patients to an art therapist, and it has been great for them, when verbalizing is difficult.
    Sending hugs and prayers your way.
    2325 days ago
    My daughter was misdiagnosed with ADD when she was little, but the meds still helped her stay on task. I hated putting her on meds too, but my HOPE was that once she knew what having "brakes" felt like, she'd learn her own coping mechanisms. That is exactly what happened - she now has meds if she NEEDS them, but she can tell if she does, and it's usually an extreme situation - most of the time she has other ways of coping. Of course, it's not ADD in her case, she is autistic - she has Aspergers Syndrome, which can really mimic ADD (she never had the "hyperactive" piece, and I always questioned...her issues are more impulse control and staying on task).

    I think I agree with what was said about her seeing the doctor alone - at her age, parents become "the enemy" for a while, so being able to talk without you there may prove helpful. *hugs*
    2327 days ago
    Kris, thank you for sharing! It is so hard when loved ones are going through things and you don't know how to get through to them.

    I know it's been awhile now since your DD has been displaying suicidal tendencies. I remember quite a few rounds ago when you said her friends were saying she was saying things. Please, take this seriously. One thing that might help her to begin talking to her therapist would be talking to the dr alone.............I know many times a dr will not share what a child says, even with a parent; however, the dr can listen to the parent as to what is going on. Perhaps, if you and the dr tell DD that she will need to be admitted for a psychological evaluation so the drs can do blood work, make sure she is getting her meds and other things since she refuses to talk to the dr, this may help her begin talking.

    Your DD is 14? She's too old for the tricks that drs play by having their patients do play therapy. Does DD like to draw? Perhaps she can draw her feelings. Too bad the dr couldn't do role reversal and sit and refuse to talk to your daughter. Does the dr ever allow a friend to attend a session? It sounds as though the cousin taught DD how to manipulate the dr. Is there a different doctor she could go to?

    DS sounds very energetic..............I'm glad they have finally recognized what you were pretty sure of to begin with. The only problem with those meds are that they mess with the appetite.

    Praying for you!
    2328 days ago
  • PRIZM96
    Kris- I am so sorry you have been going through so much. Wow.

    I have no great words of wisdom, but want you to know I'm thinking about you and will pay for you and your family.
    I can only imagine the stress you ALL are under.

    2328 days ago
    Oh, darling! I'm so sorry!!! I can only imagine the stress your under.

    I'm not sure what the best course of action is for DD. Perhaps a 3rd Dr? It might be DD's attempt to control the situation and by switching DR's... but not to the same one her cousin goes to, might give her a sense that there's shared control???

    And DS has been diagnosed with ADD. Do you really see an improvement with the medication? I've been considering it for Boy Wonder. I think it might be time.

    Please know we're always here for you.

    2328 days ago
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