"I don't feel bad, and that's good! I'm feeling good, and that's not bad!"
Sunday, February 22, 2015
(Why yes, I was watching Wreck-It Ralph last night, how'd you know?)
This last week I haven't consumed a drop of soda, have pre-packed my work lunch with good-for-me things, and have taken all my vitamins and such in the correct amounts (no idea I wasn't taking enough!) and... while my weight hasn't budged, I am actually feeling better.
While I'm not 100% feels-wise, I'm better than I was at this time last month. My anxiety has drifted off to the back burner, and I'm not feeling miserable and sick to my stomach at the thought of my job. I'm still feeling fed-up, stressed, and ready to rage-quit, but it's more of a dynamic, fire-in-my-eyes, drop my keys like a mic and strut out the doors kind of way instead of a "today's the day I lose my marbles and hide under the desk weeping uncontrollably" kind of way. But that's retail for you. :)
As I'm still snowbound, I have yet to Get Outside And Do Something. *sigh* The most outdoor exercise I've got is in clearing snow and ice off my car. It takes at least 15 minutes as I am short and have a hard time reaching the whole windshield and roof of car. No matter, we've spent the last few weeks under a frostbite advisory so... eh. *shrug*
The plus side is I haven't gained. Instead of angsting over not losing, I give a satisfactory nod at my scale when it tells me the same as last week. I've got PCOS, and I've seen how women can gain 20 pounds just by breathing popcorn-scented air, so I am perfectly okay if the scale remains the same at the moment.
On that note... will someone pleeeeease remind me not to read comments sections of ANYTHING I read from now on? I was reading something on Facebook that Spark had posted and... oh my lord, the trolls and haters were out in full force. If it wasn't the folk that didn't understand the whole point of loving your body no matter your shape ("You're still a fatty! Lose some weight! You're unhealthy! Stop with the fat acceptance! You're a joke!") it was the one woman who said that PCOS doesn't cause weight gain because she has it and is still slender and she's done her research and no where does it say you'll gain weight with PCOS. *blink blink* I was really close to asking her to cite references because EVERYTHING I have ever read about PCOS mentions unexplicable weight gain as a side effect, an ear-mark, a tell-tale sign of PCOS. It doesn't mean that everyone will gain weight; hell, not every woman with PCOS actually has the cysts. BUT STILL. One more person to say, "Well, just put down the fork!" I swear to all that is holy that I will pick up that fork and drive it into their left ass-cheek. To be honest I was going to go with eye, or hand, or somewhere similar to make a point but to rob someone of sight or dexterity is really evil of me, but a pain in the ass might be just the thing.
*deep breath* Ohmmmmmm... *deep breath*
Oh... and while I'm here... Pinterest, I am disappoint. I typed PCOS into the search bar to see what I could see... and 80% of the pins that popped up were about how to get pregant with PCOS. What to eat, what herbs/oils to use, which doctors to see, which websites to read... but what about me? What about us few who are childfree and are just looking to be healthy? I'm pretty satisfied with my body's inability to spawn (trust me, the galaxy ain't ready for little me's taking over the place). I'm not satisfied with being unhealthy. The other 20% were links to blogs about women who had PCOS and were severely unhappy and lamenting over what to do. Seriously, I want to focus on my health, fertility be damned. I'll probably have to suck it up and read the baby blogs just to get the info I need.
(Ovaries? Yeah, talkin' to you. Don't get over excited. You don't need to start crankin' up the baby-maker, okay? We're cool on that, y'dig? I just want you guys to get with the program so the rest of my innards function like they should. This is me giving you permission to half-ass your job. Be cool and work with the team, but don't go being overachievers. Nobody likes an overachiever.)
(♪Everything is awesoooooooome, everything is cool when you're part of a team...♫)