The scale does not tell it all
Saturday, February 21, 2015
I will be the first to admit that I want the weight to go away with the wave of the magic wand. i want my work out sessions to be as dramatic as the weight loss shows even though I know well enough that losing like that is not sustainable, healthy, etc. I know it took time for the weight to add up but I didn't seem to notice until it was too late. I was focused on other hurts and that was the least of my concerns. I have lost weight before and gained it back when the hurts came back. I lost weight to prove to others, to prove my worth, to prove my past no longer haunted me. And now that I am working on losing the weight once again and hopefully for the last time I stare at the scale, I scrutinize pictures, watch for signs my clothing is getting looser....and the signs are painfully slow....but there.
i have a complex relationship with the scale and my husband often swears he is going to hide the thing. There are times I am drawn to it to weigh myself multiple times a day to see if I am losing anything. Sometimes it can set my attitude or self worth for hours depending on what those numbers say. I have been working very hard on the concept that the scale is just a measurement of my gravitational pull on Earth. It does not measure my worth, it does not measure my heart, it does not measure a lot of changes that I am making.
In December I decided to start taking monthly pictures of myself to see the things that the scale can't tell me. Right now my weight is higher. I have been doing my cardio and adding some strength training (though to be honest I have to work on my consistency with the strength training....but I am working on it).
Here is my around 12/20/2014:
Here is me today, 02/21/2015:
I see the changes, I feel the changes....and the scale does not tell it all.
I will take all the little pieces that start to add up to success...beyond the scale.