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Back to Basics and Mending Me, Miss B

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Man is born broken.
He lives by mending.
The grace of God is glue. - Eugene O' Neill

Without going into a long paragraph about my story, I’m starting over from scratch. Like so many, I’ve been on this journey for over 4 years having lost 100lbs and only kept around 35 or so of it off. My weight gain the past year has been a result of a broken heart, not caring about what I eat and a relationship that spiritually knocked the wind out of me. While I’m not negating my ability to keep 35lbs off, it’s not where I need to be and I’m back to a lot of the health issues I was facing when I was close to 300lbs. While in so many ways I’ve accepted myself, I need to do this for my health and for my theatre career.

I'm back to tracking with a range of 1700-1900 calories a day, which I already know I won't reach because it's simply too much food for me. Overall, I feel very good about this and think that I'll be able to stick to my plan if I don't have too much pressure or the all of nothing attitude that got me into a lot of trouble when I was 185lbs (and had a borderline eating disorder). As long as I track and measure, I should be successful.

My overall goal is to lose 50lbs, but as of now, I'm going to focus on 5 at a time. 5 is all I can handle mentally with everything that is going on in my life right now. It won't be 5lbs a week, I'm going to give myself 5lbs every 2 weeks and only weigh in on Fridays. I want to give myself plenty of space and plenty of time. Exercise will be very minimal right now as again, I can't really focus on much else right now. I figure if I fuel my body with the right things, the exercise will follow.

Thank you to all of you who continued to support me in my very long absence, I appreciate you more than you'll ever know. Pray for me!
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