so close yet so far

Sunday, February 15, 2015

I cannot go a day without thinking that I will some day get back to the slim, fit person that I was a while ago. But then the next moment it all shatters because I am too I'll still to even contemplate getting fit again, let alone walk half a mile.I thought that after my lovely weight loss and getting fit by running, cycling, kayaking and a lot of other activities, that my life was going to stay the same as I had finally made it...reached my goal in fitness and weight and with a constant monitor I would stay on top of it. Well, that's not the case for me, sadly. I ended up getting a nasty illness that zapped every ounce of energy from my body, then after months and months of slow recovery I got well enough to cycle a little, but in between having this illness and knee operations, I have very weak moment where I am bed ridden for a week or two. I have had a specialist's diagnosis that after all my struggle I have ended up with M.E that carried on from the illness I had, so it never went away and it looks like its here to stay. I can get up out of bet most days but do very little during the day. My life is like a recluse, I have to do things very slowly or I will exert my brain too much then get brain fog that takes days to go, I cannot exercise at all apart from a very slow walk and mostly tat is with the aid of my husbands arm or a mobility scooter. But then depression sets in because I am alone alot. My weight is creeping up all the time as I have to eat, although I have only about 1000 calories a day on most days. I have decided to come back to this site, because this is where everything started for the better for me, so I hope it will again. Wish me luck I need it.
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