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Stormy Weather - really just a rant - no comments, please (i should get a journa

Friday, February 06, 2015

"… don't know why…."

Joe's sister and her family are snuggling in …. got a bunch more firewood yesterday… getting ready for "the storms". Winter rain and wind a'comin'. When I still lived in Chicago… I heard about the winter storms on the CA south coast… the greenhouse blowing off the hill… the sound of a train… the whistles off the hills. It's not like Kansas. It has it's own particulars here. Yep. Now it's Here instead of There for me. Except that… well… Whether its ME (my own way of remaining outside of things despite my potential inclusion)… or whether it is a true fact of the micro-climates and actual geography of this peninsula …. It is still "there" not "here", for me.

I miss….(do I?) the condors, the blue jays… the flocks of pristine sunlit hummingbirds… the slow rhythm of the birdsong…. their respective times of day. THE SKY SHOW…. now but a memory. How amazing it was… that year in Ric Masten's house. Such a view. Such an amazing magical bewitching view. I have photos. And they are beautiful. But photos stop time. And the SKY SHOW is a TIME ART.

So… it is gray today in Pacific Grove. A seaside "happy town"…. where property values are crazy high for the shacks and parcels they are sitting on. It is a picturesque place… stopped in time…. frozen in a bygone tourism style (50's early 60's I'd say… and most of the lodgings haven't done anything since - though they must at least 'dust'?).

Storm's A coming! It was hugely exciting last year. A geological atmospheric adventure.
I am inviting myself to feel that … even from here. The small quaint adorable and blessed cottage in which I now reside. The hitchcockian electric poles… the gulls, and crows… and the must-be-domesticated by a neighbor crazy Owl that hoots at strange hours … so audible on this hill. We don't hear the seals… though they are but blocks away…. at the so-called "Lover's Point" where a crappy meal can be had at stupid prices…and you can park your car or bike and stroll the paved recreation trail…until it meets Asilomar… and things get a little more 'natural' if not abandoned…. the ugly and poorly built McMansions with sea views.

BIG SUR is DIFFERENT. Carmel & Big Sur are Xanadu's of imagination.
The coastline… is IS IS overwhelmed by the geography.
And it is SPLENDID.
It can take your breath.

A storm is a comin'.
Batton down the hatches!
This area needs rain!!
Friends in the valley have had their wells dry for weeks and months.
The "salad bowl" of industrial farming … mere miles away in every direction except West…
not forever.

Don't know why…
There's no sun up in the sky…..
(People tell me… sometimes… that I I I I I suck the light out)
(People tell me….sometimes… that I SHINE brightly and iLUMENate ideas and love and …

Living Life
Here in California
at the "hotel california"
a lovely place

any time of year…

Gilligan's Island?
No Exit?
6 Characters In Search of an Author?

Department of Speculation
Good book. Read it in one sitting yesterday.
My sister told me that "it is the novel I would write, if i wrote a novel".
i think she would share some themes for sure… but that hers would be different in amazing ways. I hope my sister writes a novel!!!

Good book though.
Dept of Speculation.

I saw Lewis Black at the Golden State Theater last night.
He was… thankfully… and as always… very FUNNY, to me. He looked around him at the 'renovated' Moroccan themed vintage theater with red velvet curtains and seats… and realized "I'm doing vaudeville". With all the speed of light technology now available…. and here in this town full of money….. and lowest per capita income county wide ….. here… vaudeville.

Joe wants to know why I am disappointed with so much of the place.
People flock here to celebrate this place. The magic. The paradise.

Lewis Black told us about TAHITI. Go to Tahiti, he said, and Hawaii will look like a sh**hole.

Everythign is relative?

He studied playwriting at Yale Drama.

I let go of the Jbar… never made it up the hill.
Ski'd the bunny hill all my life… so far.

Up and down and round and round
The FAMILY that is not a FAMILY

I look at the photos of my friends' extended families. Full knowing all the dramas inside them. And yet… there they are… taking the photos.. that in this culture GATHER a sense of narrative and belonging. My sister's only-child… has no pictures like this. Rarely sees her two cousins. My family doesn't gather.

My mom is coming to visit at the end of the month.
I miss her.
I want to share what I love about having been here.
I want to see what she sees when she is here.

Isolated Storms.
Storm Fronts.

I ate for two days.
Turning the corner. Turning the corner.

Needing a New Story Line.

I invite myself.

HUMBLY …. first things first. Let's be in right relation to the Food today. Okay!?
Life is better when I'm in right relation to food. (I'm irritated still that it is such a central narrative. I'm irritated that what for a year was 2nd nature… is now again … a discipline.
Let's not label it today.

But will plan to succeed:

Bkfast: Ezekial 1/2 muffin. Cottage Cheese. Coffee with intlcreamer x 3



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