RACHELBEDI
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Super Frustration

Wednesday, February 04, 2015

I know the title of this blog may make you think that I'm frustrated with my eating and workout plan right now. Which would make sense since I'm blogging on SparkPeople. But right now I feel like my eating and workout plan is actually the LAST thing in my life that is frustrating me at the moment. I feel great about it!

Other aspects of my life on the other hand are getting me to the boiling point. My husband and I live close to the city (about ten miles out). My parents on the other hand live 30 miles away from the nearest hospital. Two years ago my mom had to have a total hip replacement (due to being overweight and under active for SO many years), she has fallen in the driveway on many occasions taking the dogs out and once even laid in the snow for half an hour before the pain dulled enough to allow her to get back up.

This past Saturday my husband and I went out to their house to find my dad's truck gone and the 10" of snow we had gotten the day before unmoved in the driveway. This is totally unlike my dad! We went in the house to find NO ONE IS HOME. Call my mom's cell - no answer - call my dad's cell and he sounds drunk - totally out of it. I said "I'm sorry dad I'm not able to understand what you're saying, where's mom?" he SCREAMS at me through the phone "MY SHOULDER!" and hangs up on me. Ten minutes later mom calls to tell me that my dad's shoulder is really bothering him and she's taking him to the urgent care facility 20 miles away. 3 hours later they tell him that he has either a bulged disk or a slipped disk in his back and can't go to work for a while and may need surgery. Of COURSE insurance is making him do 5 weeks physical therapy before they will cover an MRI.....well in the meantime who's going to clean up the driveway with the myriad of storms we're getting? Two a week at the moment. And who's going to go up and clean off the roof?

Thank GOD for a great neighbor who told my sister this past weekend that he knew something must be wrong and came up and snow blowed their driveway for free and again the next day when we got another storm. But how long can this go on for?!

I told my mom that they really need to look at moving closer to the city. I told them we were interested in buying a second house and that they could just rent from us. My dad is SO stubborn and wants his "privacy" but at what cost will that come? What if there's an emergency and my mom's the only one home and has no way to contact 911?

I talked to my sister about it and her response? "well it's their decision to make" ARGH! there's a point where it becomes a FAMILY issue vs. stubborn parents not doing what's best for them! And what if my dad's back doesn't get better and he has to be on permanent disability? Who's going to take care of the lawn in the summer and the trees and who's going to manage the snow removal in the winter? (since GOD FORBID he allow someone to PLOW!)

UGH I'm just so over this! At what point should I tell them I don't want them to DIE in the middle of no where because they're too stubborn to see that they're getting too unhealthy to manage it on their own anymore?! We live too far away to be able to go out everyday and help! My sister also lives too far away to do this.....

I JUST WANT TO SCREAM!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • NORASPAT
    After the shoulder experience you might talk to your Mom about your personal concerns and just maybe the two of you starting the conversation.

    Explain to her you are frustrated. Just a conversation works best for people. Also tell her that she can call at any time day or night. It is very hard to give up your home. I am 71 and just DH and I lived in Augusta and our kids were 7or 8 ours by plane from West Coast or by car through the white and green mountains from upstate NY. IF they are not snowed in.

    It happens to most of us and just keep the conversation going without getting out of control, it is their decision and for you it is WORRISOME, let them know how much you want to help them .
    Take care Pat in Maine. emoticon
    2117 days ago
  • RACHELBEDI
    Thanks Freggie emoticon I guess that means I should stop sending them real estate listings huh? lol just kidding!

    I just don't want to receive that dreaded phone call ya know? It would be nice too to have them just down the road when hubby and I start trying for a baby vs. living 30 miles away!
    2123 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14841774
    Hmm. Oh yeah. I have stubborn elderly parents too. My take on it now is that some things are just out of our hands. If they want to be stubborn, so be it. In the meantime I do try to watch my own boundaries.
    I guess all you can do is just tell them quietly what you think what would be best for them and then hope for the best.
    2123 days ago
  • COSEYDOG
    Aww, I'm so sorry! My parents are totally stubborn too. I've no advice, but I can relate!
    2123 days ago
  • RACHELBEDI
    hahaha thank you ladeetee36 - your super simple comment made me take a breathe and just calm down a little. I really am at the end of my rope! ergh...parents!
    2123 days ago
  • LADEETEE36
    B R E A T H E emoticon
    2123 days ago
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