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The State of Dis-Union

Saturday, January 31, 2015

I had a stomach virus about a week or two ago....and I lost 6 lbs in short order. ...And then I gained them back and then some. emoticon It started a couple of days ago when my husband "thoughtfully" brought me home Taco Bell as a gift. So, okay. I ate it (I mean I couldn't be rude and pitch it in the garbage could I? Especially since it was sort of a peace offering consequent to us working out some issues and beginning to get along well),

Then I had an MD appointment which ran late, past my normal dinner hour, so when the man who drove me offered to stop for food, I agreed....I chose Wendy's and had a salal and broccoli potato, (not realizing it would be smothered in "cheese" sauce--I ate it anyway)...And to top all of that off, my husband came home again with Taco Bell and a chalupa with my name on it.

Those are the negatives. The positives are that I have been making healthy meals and the other day impulsively picked up a box of doughnut popems. I could literally TASTE them as I looked at the box, considering whether or not to buy them. But when I got to the checkout, I placed them on the end cap and they didn't make it to my grocery bags.

I have not felt well enough to exercise. My potassium level is critically low and as a result I've been weak and exhausted. I may end up in the hospital getting potassium via IVs. (which is incredibly burns your veins like acid). It may also be the end of my steroid prescription. Steroids leach potassium from the body...If i have to go off of the steroids it will mean a return of the shortness of breath and wheezing. It will also mean a return to very bad pain from my 3 auto immune disorders. It will ALSO mean a loss of weight and fluid and it will not be a Sisyfusian effort anymore to lose a pound. So I don't know which side of the fence I want to be on....they each have pluses and minuses.

One thing I should do is to make a pot of veggie soup. That way I have a quick healthy lunch available....and also when I go out I can fill my food container with it and not be so tempted to eat out. Eating out is one of the few pleasures i have. My friend and i go out sometimes on Sunday after church for lunch and sometimes also during the week when he takes me out to do errands. Unfortunately there are not many healthy choices for meals around here. I need to find out some other means of pleasure. I don't get out of the house much...maybe once a week, either to an MD appt. or to church. or to do errands (but only one of those in any given week). Once the weather improves we will be able to bring our meals out somewhere and eat them---maybe at a park or a bench in town.

My weight is hovering around the place I was at prior to my stomach virus...I may have gained one pound since then but not too much. Somehow I need to "step it up". If exercise is out of the question now then I need to be more "perfect" with the diet. No more exceptions to the rules. i need to make it clear to DH that gifts and peace offerings from fast food stores are not the best choice.

I am still following the "EAt TO LIVE" parameters...but like I said, I frequently bend the rules and by so doing I am only slowing my progress. In the past month I have only lost two pounds --which, granted , is better than GAINING two pounds, but still it's a snail's pace and I know for a fact that if I was doing what I am supposed to be doing, I would have lost a lot more than that.

I think I need to do some reading of the EAT TO LVE books. They always motivate me when I"m struggling.

So all in all, I'm making some good choices--and I celebrate that. And I"ve made some poor choices---and I'm sorry for that. (I know that I'm the only one that i am hurting by those slip ups.) Each day is a new day for a freshly renewed sense of commitment --and yes, excitement--a chance for a new beginning--to build on the successes of yesterday--and to erase the failures as well.

I thank all of you, my Spark friends for the support and encouragement that you dispense to me daily. You always believe in me, and always are gentle when I fail.
Today is a new day: a brand new chance to do well. It is with some excitement for a new start that I walk into this new day...Forgetting that which is behind and striving for the victor's crown that lies ahead (to paraphrase a verse from the Bible). I know that losing weight is not necessarily a spiritual venture....but in a sense it is: "Moderation in all things;" "physical exercise is of some value" and "whatever you do, whether eat or drink, do all to the glory of God." Scripture also talks about the greedy, "whose god is their stomach"--So with those thoughts I will leave you to face your day...rejoice that the failures of the past ARE in the past and do not have to affect your day today or your tomorrow.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon I hope your feeling better.. emoticon emoticon
    2097 days ago
    Keep trying to "nourish the temple" (to put it in Biblical terms). Take it one day at a time, one meal at a time. Treat the slip-ups as learning experiences. I know it's tough when there's an emotional situation plus a temptation situation with the DH.

    God bless
    2098 days ago
    Great blog! I keep having to start over. I can relate to your struggle!
    2098 days ago
  • no profile photo CD10895053
    Hang in there, Dearheart, I'll be thinking of you so much. I thought like Linda, too, about the banana, and then I thought that you could have what I had for breakfast this morning. A banana with 1 T. of peanut butter and a glass of milk. Yum. Just a meal at a time. You also could have some Healthy Choice or Smart One frozen dinners in the freezer ready for you to pop in the microwave and then your husband can have tacos and Wendy's himself. I had a large Wendy's chili the other day and it was so good and I could track it too. I didn't have the cheese or the sour cream on top of it either, so it's making little choices, without bad ones. I'm wishing you the best of everything and that means less painful days too. emoticon
    2098 days ago
    2098 days ago
    hang in there, friend! don't give up.
    2098 days ago
  • _LINDA
    Are you eating foods with high potassium like bananas, or looking up which ones would be best? It would be less painful to get your potassium naturally if possible..
    When I wake up all the time, I try to stay in bed, scrounging around for a comfortable position to get back to sleep, only getting out to take my pain meds or use the facilities. When its so bitterly cold here, snuggling under the blankets is the most appealing activity whether I can sleep or not lol. For me, pain decreases my appetite. Just try to think its those steroids talking, not you. You don't need two breakfasts. Hunger is not an emergency. Lose yourself in your writing or reading or play games.
    You are doing as well as you can under your circumstances! All you can do is your best!
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    2098 days ago
    January is a hard month for me also. The go getter attitude fails, swiftly. I am trying to take it one day at a time, and making future goals, to stay motivated. Sounds like you have a plan, to make small changes. Stay focused, I wish you the best with your medical issues. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2099 days ago
    Every step counts. I admit to eating in much the same way in January. you are trying and that counts!
    2099 days ago
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