BARDIC_GRRL
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Spark-ish, just a bit

Friday, January 30, 2015

I'm not retracting my humbug statement of a few weeks ago, not yet anyway. But I've given myself a little space to think.
Thinking is a dangerous occupation. Thinking can lead to great clarity or total insanity, depending on how you control your thought process. My thought processes often behave like a car stuck on full throttle. They generally outstrip my collected wisdom. So much like speeding through a treacherous road system, I often either crash and burn or end up in the wrong place.
Breaking away from the example of the car, because there is only so far that can go, (yes, I really went there,) I'm having to break things down into tiny, even tinier than tiny, baby steps. I wish I could say that I was eating a beautiful organic lunch that I made ahead at home last weekend, but that is not only not true, it isn't an option for me right now.
So here are my steps:

1. I have to dig my family out the rubble that is my home. Yes I was sick, yes I had a hard time getting my strength back, but I have the strength to do it now, and I've discovered that some of the stuff we've been breathing is not healthy. Breathing is important. Nuff said. A clean house is the first step.
2. Tracking my food. I really don't have an excuse. I have computers at home and at work. This may not be the top priority, but it doesn't conflict with priority 1.
3. At least minimal exercise. Half an hour of walking a day is not impossible for me. I can worry about triathlon training after priority 1 is taken care of to the point where I'm maintaining.
4. My homework. Okay, I still haven't decided whether to apply for the MFA program, and I'm running out of time for it, but I have committed to one prerequisite.

That will have to be enough for now. Frustrating though it may be to admit, my Wonderwoman delusions were not helping me. I was going nowhere, (Okay, back to the car thing. So sue me.) fast.
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