Sunday, January 25, 2015
I have a friend who believes that if we picture things in our mind we are more likely to make them come true. So I've been working on that.
The other night as I was laying in bed I was trying to imagine myself at my goal weight, or even 100lbs less than I am now, shoot even less then 300lbs and I couldn't.
I got to thinking and realized that the last time I was less than 300lbs was over 8 years ago,
the last time I was in onderland was when I got pregnant with my son, who is now 19!!!! :O
And even in high school when I was a size xl I thought I was obese.
Hmmm no wonder I'm having trouble picturing myself at a healthy weight. It was like a rude awakening realizing those things. I mean I know I've been heavy for ever but thinking about it in terms of those numbers really opened my eyes. Once I got past the shock of those realizations I started to work on different things to visualize, such as being able to tie my shoes easily, being able to fasten seatbelts without trouble, being able to zip up my coat, wanting to run a 5k, etc.
Anyway, I was very pleased with myself last week. Four days straight I got over 10,000 steps! First time ever!! Probably more days 10,000 steps then I had in the last six months alone. And my eating was very good during the week. I managed, per dr suggestion, at least 10 glasses of water a day.
And then I didn't eat so well Friday and through the weekend. idk why I do that. I was really craving junk/comfort food and gave in on Friday's lunch and then friday evening, at my second job during my 13 hour work day, I decided one candy bar wasn't bad if I allotted for it. After all going from eating candy/junk food all day, every meal, all the time to not having any for days is a big jump. And I stayed with only one candy bar....but then Saturday and again today I've made poor choices. I haven't gone way overboard, not at all like I use to eat, which helps keep me from feeling too awful bad.
I could come up with so many excuses but instead I'm trying to think deeply about why I felt the need to do that.
I'm not going to beat myself up, instead I'm going to step on the scale tomorrow and accept the damages, be proud of myself for continuing to count calories and start anew now.