Sunday, January 25, 2015
So I was watching the Biggest Loser the other night and it was the episode where the contestants watch a film they made at the beginning speaking to their future self. I had a really bad week last week and fell into some old habits. I'm SO over that. I've decided to do what those contestants did and say goodbye to that old person. I'm no longer the person I was for most of my adulthood and I need to stop telling myself that I am. So here it goes.
It's time to say goodbye to the person you've been for the past nearly 32 years of your life. For far to long, you've let fear, food, and negativity control your life. You have missed out on so many experiences and have spent all these years not really living life. You spend far to much of your free time curled up on your couch hoping for good things to happen to you but convincing yourself that you aren't worthy of those good things. Telling yourself that this was the life you were dealt and good things happen to other people who deserve it which isn't you. You have let food and negative thoughts control how you feel, what you do, and how you live your life for far to long. Every now and then I see a little picture of who I really want to be and what's deep down inside of me but that picture fades quickly and I use the excuses of that isn't who I am and allow myself to fall into the old patterns of self loathe, unhappiness, and just a really sad life. For far to long I've been the "fine" girl. Everything is good, everything is fine, no matter what is happening. I've let fear control a lot of my life. Fear of failing, fear of being rejected, fear of not being the norm, and just an overall fear of not being good enough.
I'm better than that. I deserve a life full of happiness. I want to say goodbye to the person who I've come to know and hate. From this day forward, I'm no longer the girl described above. I'm always going to remember her but I'm going to use those memories to help me move forward in a more fulfilling life. From here on out, I am not going to live in fear of life experiences and opportunities. I'm going to love myself. I'm going to be confident. I'm going to remember that I'm strong, worthy, and courageous. I'm going to live life like a fit and healthy person because when I'm that person, I love life. I am going to consistently remind myself that I am enough. I'm going to make goals and I'm going to reach them. I'm going to live a life that inspires myself and those around me. I'm going to realize my potential each and every day, grab hold of it, and make positive strides towards it.
I'm going read this letter every single day of my life to remind me of who I am and not who I once was.