My Feelings Taste Delicious...But the Aftertaste is Regret
Thursday, January 22, 2015
Today has been stressful, a circus filled with moments blown out of proportion by drama queens. And it's not even 2pm! In one weak moment, I scarfed down a (delicious) piece of melty, salty pepperoni pizza. I then proceeded to feel awful and fight the battle of returning for another piece....or three.
Why?! Why such an emotional response? I didn't blow my calorie-intake for the day and I don't subscribe to assigning foods with labels like "good" or "bad". I think the reason for the regret is because I KNOW BETTER. I know that I justified a coworkers birthday as a way to comfort myself quickly. I know that physical activity is a better coping mechanism. I know that I could have made time for a 5 minute meditation. I know that the homemade veggie pizza that I brought for lunch is more nutritious and satisfying. And despite all of this knowledge I went and ate my feelings anyway.
And that's that. I had a choice and I made it. I can wallow in it, feel like the day is ruined and go overeat and feel bad. But I'm not going to do that. I'm going to make a better choice and deal with this in a healthy way. I'm reaching out for support. I can stick to the rest of my eating plan for the day and still have my salad, carrots, and fruit. I'm going to meditate and reaffirm that I am still worthy of the highest level of self-care instead of "punishing" myself for not being perfect.
The struggle is real. But then again, I suppose nothing worth having comes easy.