Dealing with Depression - Week 2 in Review
Saturday, January 17, 2015
So I was a little bummed yesterday. I got on the scale and gained half a pound this week. I'm not stressing too much about it. I mean, geez, I dropped 6 pounds the first week, I figured my body might be in a little bit of shock. But still, I would have preferred to just see the number stay the same. Not too thrilled with the gain. I really need to do measurements as well, once I can find the tape measure.
I continued my week 1 goals for week 2 because I came down with another stomach bug this week and didn't want to set myself up for failure:
1) Drink at least 48 ounces of water each day - I easily had 64 ounces each day. I've got the water bit down. I did have about 3 days where I had a weak moment and had 1 diet root beer or cherry coke. But I made sure I got all of my water in first.
2) Follow SP's calorie plan of maximum 1800 calories a day for 4 out of 7 days - I managed 4 out of 7 days, so I at least met my goal. I was more consistent this week and actually had a lower weekly average of calories than I did for week 1.
The biggest difference was that my ratio of carbs/fats/protiens was way different. 4 of those 7 days, I ate at least 35% of my calories through fats. Carbs are usually what I have to watch, but maybe that's not the case? I'll be curious to do a week over week comparison after this third week. My sodium was a lot better this week though.
3) Stretch at least 4 out of 7 days - I probably stretched at least once 4 out of 7 days. My back has been bugging me a bit more this week, and I'm trying to get up and move more during the workday, so it was a priority for me.
I've really been struggling with depression lately. It feels different than previous times because neither my therapist nor I can really pinpoint the cause for it. The main suspect is my continued sleep issues, which have been going on for well over a year now. I have tried everything...and yes, I mean EVERYTHING.
Herbal teas, herbal capsules (chamomile, catnip, valerian root), melatonin, ambien, turning off electronics an hour before bed, no TV in bed, good sleep hygeine habits, no naps, timed naps in the middle of the day, exercise morning and night, no caffiene, talk therapy, meditation, and on and on. You get the idea.
I went in for a sleep study, and everyone was convinced that I had sleep apnea because I'm overweight and that must be the problem. I have said over and over that I don't have it, and guess what the sleep study found? NO sleep apnea!
And this whole time, I cannot get restful sleep. I'm tired at wacky times of the day and wide awake when I should be sleepy. If I try to power through a bad night of sleep and take no naps the next day in the hopes of being able to sleep the next night, I wind up with two nights of bad sleep and a very, very cranky mood.
It's affecting every part of my life. The ambien caused me to have heart palpatations and crazy anxiety, so I had to stop that. It's hard for me to focus on work. I am almost completely useless around the house. And I feel like I'm in this cave of depression when, in my opinion, I'm having some of the best years of my life. My therapist suggested an antidepressant that will help me sleep, like amitriptyline. I'm hoping I can talk to my doctor about it on Tuesday and convince him to let me try it.
Any suggestions are welcome! I'm getting pretty desperate here.