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Day 16 - Buspar and Slaying the Anxiety Dragon

Friday, January 16, 2015

I'm listening to Brene Brown's "The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are" audiobook. It's really great. :)

I have generalized anxiety disorder. No matter how much I want to wish this diagnosis away with positive thinking, there are sometimes that I am NOT in control of it. This week, with the first week of classes, it was really one of those moments. My thoughts were just racing, and no matter how hard I tried, I found it extremely difficult to regain control and calm the storm.. I also had very bad neck and shoulder pain, insomnia, tension, restlessness, and inability to focus on anything but worrying, which is a HUGE waste of mental energy.... it was spiraling fast and getting out of control. So I did something about it. I took sleeping pills, I took my natural supplements, and they helped, some.. but last night I realized I needed something more. This is why I decided to start taking an old medication I had lying around, to see if it helped at all -- Buspar. It really, really did. It's funny how caught up I can get in my goals and my anxiety, and how I can't always realize how bad it's getting until something brings some relief and I feel 'normal' again. It's not perfect, but it's good enough that I feel in control of which thoughts I choose to follow and which I allow to pass through my awareness. On Monday I am going to make an appt at the student health center to have this prescription refilled.

I missed some classes. Luckily I had the presence of mind to contact my professor and tell her what was going on. She was incredibly sweet and supportive and says she is here for me and wants to help me catch up :)

I have a giant to-do list this weekend, but it is not stressing me out like it was. I can handle it. Lots, lots, lots of studying, but all this studying is going to help bring back my mastery of the language and confidence in my abilities, so that next week can be better!! I'm also making a point to schedule "me" time for relaxation and pampering.. I look awful; you can see the tiredness in my face, the bags under my eyes, and the blotchiness of my complexion... I think water and exercise will probably help more than anything, but I'm also going to lay off of the dairy and refined carbs in hopes that it helps clear up.. .OH! I'm going to refresh the henna in my hair and pluck my brows so I can hopefully have a bit of a confidence boost ♥

I'm going to the gym again today! Second interval workout of the week on the elliptical. I'm also cooking and eating well. :) I made guacamole out of my unused avocados, and I'm dipping veggies in it! Tonight I'm planning on cooking some salmon with stir-fried veggies and lemongrass-based sweet and spicy soup. if I keep taking good care of myself, I'm sure I'll start looking healthier soon.

What do you guys do for your skin when it's looking less-than-fab? All tips are appreciated!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • KIPPER15
    emoticon drink water and eat more fruit and veggies. It always makes my face clear up and helps me feel better.
    2073 days ago
    So glad you got through it
    2074 days ago
    I hope everything gets better for you, I deal with anxiety too. My yoga practice helps with mine. A friend of mine does watercolor painting to help her cope. emoticon
    2074 days ago
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